Family Updates 2019: Part 1.

Life did seem hopeful when I wrote my last blog in August 2017.  It seemed that we had hit rock bottom and the only way to go was up.  Little did I know that life *could* get more difficult... starting with work.

I loved Entrata.  At one point, I seriously considered working there forever.  I was rocking my QA scores, I was a superstar team member, I had a team leader who made me (and everyone else) feel valued and appreciated, and I was being treated very well by the company itself.   I honestly thought I could go on to be a manger, trainer, or more in this company.  When my team leader was removed from his position however, I started to worry.

Sadly, it only got worse from there.  I was put on call filtering; a grueling task where you filter hundreds of calls an hour that the properties themselves took.  It was redundant, mundane, and I felt like a machine.  I thought I would love being off the phones, but the hours were long and my anxiety was high as I tried to filter at least 100 calls an hour. I opted out.

Being on the phones wasn't much better.  With so many agents doing call filtering, the lines got busier.  MUCH BUSIER.  From January to September, there was almost NO BREAKS in it for me.  It was brutal.  I wanted to quit every day.  It was hard to be positive anymore.  I was starting to lose hope altogether of a better life.

Why does this matter?

This matters because it made me realize that I *can't* do this the rest of my life and my family needs me to work.  I was forced to think of other options. Then it hit me.  My associate degree didn't mean much when it came to applying for a real job.  I could possibly be doing jobs like Entrata or worse the rest of my life.  I did however, have my bachelor's degree almost complete!

There was my hope again.

Getting back into school again was not easy.  I literally had to petition my desire to come back to school, why I deserved to be reconsidered, what I would do differently so I don't quit again, why know I would not quit, etc, etc, etc.  Fortunately, I was let back in!  I began the journey again, only this time as a working mom, something I was unfamiliar with before.  If I thought school was hard in the past, I never realized how hard it would be with a job.... and family.... and all their things happening simultaneously.  The next nine months pushed me past my breaking point.

I had a lot of ground to cover if I wanted to be a teacher.  I had licensure exams still to take, classes to finish, even more classes that were added to the program after I quit, one hundred observation hours (which is not as easy as it sounds), and as if that wasn't enough, everything else as well. At one point, I almost went back on my words written in my petition for re-entry.  I wanted to quit. I wanted to quit SO BADLY.  I just wanted to make the uncomfortable go away and make my life easier again - start later when all my kids were in school full time.

Tempting as it seemed, I still knew that I was doing the right thing and it was the only thing keeping me going.  Maybe, just maybe, all the uncomfortable life lessons we were having happened because I was meant to do something better. I'm in my last week of classes right now.  I met my requirement for observation hours and I'm ready to student teach in January 2020.

(More family updates to be continued...)

Bringing Back Blogging

Social media ruined me. Oh sure, there's a lot of great posts; uplifting, exciting, funny... but there's a lot of negativity with that also. Social media often reminds me of high school.  A popularity contest with drama, cliques, judgement, and comparison.  With that I can also see the insecurity, the trying hard to impress, and the false sense of connection to others which can actually make you feel more lonely.  Long story short, it was chipping away at my happiness every time I got on.  Social media is not for everyone. It's not been good for me. 

Now, I haven't given up on social media completely.  Let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater. I enjoy being connected to friends and family and knowing what's happening in their lives, too.  I simply decided if it's a running record of my family I'm mostly after where my posts are concerned, why not go back to blogging about it instead? I used to love blogging. I could write our stories and share photos without having to worry as much about likes, dislikes, comments, or battling constant feelings of rejection. Besides,  my blogs aren't written for fame or fortune. They aren't written to always inspire or teach either. They are for my family to look back on and remember the good,  the bad, and the ugly.  If anyone is interested, it's here for you, too. 

So, nice to see you again, old friend.  It's good to be back in my happy place with you. Let's never lose touch again.  Here's to many more updates... 

Joy

I'm not very good with re-capping but A LOT has happened in our life over the past year.  Rather than going off on long tangents about each event, it might be easier to summarize things with words.  Type 1 Diabetes. Loss of job. Job search.  Popcorn fiasco.  Job for Laura.  Another job for Laura.  Stress.  Finally a job for Shayne, stress, stress, and more stress.

Yet life is good.

Here we are.  Alive - a gift in and of itself. We're still moving forward, even if slowly. We have learned that we can do hard things.  We have found ways around stumbling blocks and you know what?  I'm learning even more so that life is not 'this or that'... there are many (MANY!) ways to still get what you want if you willing to think outside the box.  I'm discovering that it's seldom ever YES/NO, OPEN/CLOSE, or LIGHT/DARK.  This is life changing.  It's empowering. I can do ANYTHING.

Did you know that?

YOU can do anything, too.  Step outside your comfort zone.  Dare to be brave.  Do something uncomfortable.  Test yourself to think from other angles.

This blog is a celebration of life going on.  For all the challenges we have overcome and continue to. It's a celebration of finding joy in the journey, no matter how hard that journey may be right now.  I may not be where I want to be, but great things take time.  Rome wasn't built in a day.  We'll get there... and if not, we'll find something else and that will be great too.

Remember, life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it.

Find the joy.

Munn Family Christmas Letter 2015...

Dear Friends and Family,

We hope this letter finds you happy, healthy, and full of joy this holiday season!  We are thrilled to be at another Christmas season, our most favorite time of the year. 2015 was a great year for the Munn Family filled with many memories and laughter. 

It all really began with a dog. Early in December 2014 we found an adorable two week old Boxer puppy. Although I was skeptical about getting a puppy at this particular time, there was no denying the feeling we all had the first time we saw her; she was to be the "new" Daisy. She looked just like our dearly beloved pet of years ago. We fell in love and a month and many visits to the puppy later we took little Daisy home to be a part of our family. She was a really big handful for many months but has gradually developed into a loving companion and family member. Daisy still has her moments, but she's come a long way over the year and celebrates her first birthday November 30th. 

With the birth of a new year also came the birth of a new niece born to Sarah and Jason Benson January 5th, and a nephew to Danny and Uurtsaikh Burrows on February 11th. I was blessed to have been present at both remarkable all natural births. Hard to believe these babies are nearing their first birthdays already. How time flies!

We took our first family vacation in five years last April. We got to visit my sister Sarah, sister in law Alison, brothers David and Evan, and one of my best friends and cousin, Kristl, in their home state of Texas. Ellie was thrilled to ride a horse by herself for the first time, and Kaitlyn and Liam loved pretending to be baby kittens for Aunt Sarah and Alison. After two fun filled weeks together it was hard to say goodbye and we already long for another trip to Texas... hopefully next year to meet another new niece or nephew as Sarah and Alison are expecting this January 2016.  

May marked a busy month of many surgeries - all spaced just one week apart. Kaitlyn needed some dental work for a chipped tooth and her yearly EGD and esophagus dilation. Liam had ear tubes put in after a long start to the year of back to back infections and dental work as well. Poor Ellie began her orthodontic work by receiving her very first “expander” to make her small mouth bigger. With many years ahead of her, I keep reminding her it will all be worth it in the end.  Happy to report all procedures were a success with no problems since.  These procedures took place during birthday season; Liam turning two, Kaitlyn five, and Danelle 10. It was a busy time and I still look back and wonder how we managed it all. 

Beginning in summer 2014 our family began camping... a lot. This year was no different. It seemed that we were camping almost every other weekend the entire summer long. We camped at Lagoon, Crystal Hot Springs, Blackhawk in Payson Canyon, and Crystal Springs again in August. We are now "professional campers" with an outdoor shower and personal port a potty to prove it.  Some of our best memories have been made camping the past two years.  

We also had a fun time at Lagoon, a local theme park this summer. Unlike years past, we decided to get season passes for the year.  We used these passes several times over the course of the year and really enjoyed our regular days at Lagoon.  We usually met up with Danny and Uurtsaikh and their family to visit since they live close by and even stayed the night a few times.  We are hoping to buy passes again in 2016.

We attended two mini family reunions as well. The first reunion was with the Munn Family in Payson Canyon.  We kept busy making crafts, telling jokes, and playing games - reconnecting without the distractions of the material world. Although it was rainy some of the time everyone had a great time and I know no one could ever forget it. We had our first ever family talent show and got to see all the wonderful talent within our families.  We've been very fortunate to have all our family members attend these reunions, with Tyler and Jessica making the furthest journey from Arizona. 

Our second was our yearly traditional trip to Hatch, Utah. We love these visits. Hatch has a special place in our hearts and memories.  Liam got to ride in the 24th of July Hatch Town Parade for the first time, and Kaitlyn her first real ATV ride. Grandma Burrows let Ellie drive the ATV (with Grandma on the ATV of course). Ellie was a great driver (slow and cautious) which made me feel a little better about her driving a car in just five short years.  

Soon summer had past and the kids were back in school and their extracurricular activities again. Kaitlyn is now a Kindergarten student and Ellie in 5th Grade. Both girls are doing well in school and have been given great teachers this year. Ellie was nominated and won a Singers Company Scholarship. We are so proud and happy for her.  In light of this we decided to enroll Kaitlyn in Singers Company as well.  Both girls love this show choir program and are busy getting ready for their first show of the season in early December.  Danelle is also taking voice lessons with another recital mid-December. Our hands are full but our hearts are happy. 

September brought a visitor. My long time and another best friend came to Utah for the first time in 16 years to visit and meet our children.  We had a lovely time at a Park City Resort, visiting Utah Olympic park, Heber, Lagoon, Crystal Springs and all the in-betweens. Everyone was sad to see "Aunt Crissy" go. 

Shayne dazzled the neighborhood in October with his new Halloween decorations.  Our house was alive with spirits all month long and was definitely one of the hits of the neighborhood. Many compliments were paid as Trick or Treaters passed by. It was a wonderful night spent with Sarah and Jason's family, Patrick, Ashley, Noah, Mom and Dad Munn, and Mom and Dad LaTurner. We are already planning next Halloween.   Thanks to my Mom for babysitting, Shayne and I also got to have our first short getaway since Kaitlyn was born and we made our lifelong dreams come true to go to a Garth Brooks concert. 

We want everyone to know receiving this letter that we thank you for being a part of our lives and memories.  Each of you mean so much to us  and we love you! Have the best Christmas and 2016.

Lots of Love,   The Munn Family

This Thing Called Life

It’s been a while since I sat down and really written a blog.  Many well-meaning blogs were written on my phone, never to be transferred onto Blogger.  It’s sad really.  I used to love blogging.  Two things happened after I had Liam three years ago.  First of all it seemed that someone was ALWAYS sick.   The second – I had zero time to myself.  It wasn’t as easy to pull up a chair to a computer and write anymore. I always had someone needing me or something had to be done.  Even in the time it took to write this paragraph, I’ve already been up three times to help Liam and my dog.  I can’t complain though.  Life has been good to me.

I think for the sake of time, I will post a copy of our Christmas letter of what happened last year.  I think this will help get you up to speed on what’s going on in our family, and can help me pick up on newer topics. 

In my personal life, this year has been a year of hope and positive changes.  Around Christmas I received a FitBit Charge HR with the goal to lose 40 pounds before summer.  I’m not sure if I will lose the full 40 by the end of May, but I have lost around 21 since Christmas and still going strong.  The closer I get to my goal weight, the more motivated I feel to finish what I began.  With the warm weather settling back in, I am hopeful to put my weight loss on the fast track by exercising more often; walks, bikes rides, and maybe take up running.  It feels good to make myself more of a priority and get healthy while I’m at it. 

Liam just turned three years old.  I will be honest that I feel myself approaching a curve in my life I hoped I would be more ready for; the end of having babies.  Honestly, I thought I would be more ok with it than I have been. Everyone seems to think this should be an exciting time of my life, when I’m missing the baby days already.  I absolutely LOVE being a Mom.  It pains me to think they are growing up and in a blink of an eye, I won’t have any toddlers or preschoolers running around anymore.  In just a month, I could be done with diapers in my house forever.   I am trying to focus on all the positive things though about being done and hopefully I’ll make peace with the ache eventually.

For one thing, having older children can be very enjoyable.  We are going to the movies more often, planning trips, and starting to eat out.  I almost always get a full eight hours of sleep at night. I have two kids in school, and in a few short months all three will be in school at some point during the day.  I long for hours of freedom and silence – time to get whatever I want to done.   I haven’t had this in longer than I can remember.  We are planning bigger trips, and even not having kids napping during the day offers more flexibility to our schedule. We’ve been taking overnights away from the kids, and I even spent five wonderful days in Texas without my kids with me.  I’m sure once I taste the wonderfulness that “being done” means, I will feel much better about this transition in life.

That being said, I’m not getting rid of any of my big baby things YET.  Nothing is permanent YET. We aren’t past point of no return.  Only time will tell. Shayne might be more secure in his decision, but I can’t promise anything.

The other thing on my mind lately is finding that one special place to call HOME.  We’ve been in our neighborhood so long that almost everyone on our street is new.  Usually, we’re the ones to move before we get this far.  Several new families have moved in my area.  It feels like a whole new Somerset Village.  I’ve never lived anywhere long enough to be considered one of the older families in the ward.  We’ve been here five years and counting.  It’s been cramped.  It’s cluttered. We never have enough closet space.  We’ve sure had some great memories here though.  I’ve been talking to relators and financial departments about getting a loan and finding a home of our own though. We’re jumping through hoops and getting into a home hasn’t been as easy as signing the paperwork. We’d love to finally be able to give our kids the gift of a home of their own.  Part of the reason we’ve stayed here so long is to offer them some stability.  We all look forward to the change though and are looking forward to the day we can take our picture in front of a SOLD sign in our yard. Fingers crossed.

So that’s about it right now.  I hope to find more time to fill in my blog in the future, and maybe pull out a few old blogs of last year or even older to help full in the gaps a bit. Overall, I am in a great place in my life.  I have learned what it means to do without and am thankful for everything I am blessed with, taking nothing for granted. As they say, “enjoy the little things in life for one day you will look back and realize they were the big things.” -  Kurt Vonnegut

Dance Fever

Ballet used to be my passion.  More than that, it was probably more like an obsession.  All I could think about was dance.  It was in my very core, and I remember actually and literally thinking the phrase, "Without ballet, what's the pointe?" ;) At one point, I was actually quite good.  I was dancing six days a week at two different studio's (BYU with the Youth Artist program and Academy of Ballet), spending every free minute I had doing what I loved best.  It was a compilation of things that led up to my eventual my quitting around 16 years old and I began to pursue my new life in all things 'theater.'

It seemed like a no-brainer that when I became a mother, I would hope that one of my kids would pursue dancing... not to get back what I lost, but to have something in their lives to be passionate about, to love, motivate, and challenge them to do things that require practice, determination, and commitment.  I tried a couple of failed attempts to get Danelle into dance when she was little, but finally she showed interest again and I jumped at the opportunity to sign her up.

Danelle is taking Ballet/Jazz, and Kaitlyn is taking a Ballet/Tap class.  Danelle loved her dance class so much, I went ahead and enrolled her in tumbling as well.  From the very first day, I wanted to buy 'Proud Dance Mom' bumper stickers and sweaters, but I have resisted so far.  Of course I hope Danelle will try out for 'the team' next year, but the main objective of course is to have fun and learn something new.  I know when it comes time for the girls to be in the Christmas show, I will be front and center probably tearing up with pride and joy.  I am so happy that we could do this for them. I can't wait to see what their future's hold.

Our Brave Little Girl

"She's very brave for her age," the doctor whispered to me as he pulled out Kaitlyn's stitches.  Thinking back upon her life, I couldn't agree more.  Earlier that week, Kaitlyn had the mishap of going down a slide during a field trip and ended up getting so tossed and turned around that she landed chin first at the bottom of the slide and split open the bottom part of her chin.  When I received the call from her preschool teacher, I was definitely not expecting them to tell me that she had a 'significant gash' and it more than likely would need stitches.  I took her word for it, and after picking up Kaitlyn from school that day, we went straight to the doctor without my even looking at it.

Once we finally were at the doctor's office, a nurse pulled off Kaitlyn's soggy band aid to reveal the horrible gash.  It was indeed 'significant.'   Kaitlyn was worried about seeing the doctor, but composed herself well.  When the doctor came in, he confirmed my worst fear at that moment; she would most certainly need stitches.  Without wasting any time, I called for some back up from Shayne and my sister in law Sarah, to help me with Liam and offer moral support.  We started some numbing cream every 10 minutes and braced ourselves for what I knew was going to be hard on my baby girl.  I would have given anything to trade places with her.

Kaitlyn's had a big history of having to be brave for doctors.  Starting with her coin incident in June 2012, esophagus stretchings,  multiple EGD's, and surgery again in November 2013, if there's something I have come to know about Kaitlyn it's that she IS amazingly brave for her age.  I once read a quote that relates to her well; "Courage is being scared to death... and saddling up anyway." - John Wayne.  Kaitlyn knows when it's time to saddle up and 'get it done.'  When the moment came to give her stitches, she laid down, took a deep breath, and held as still as a statue and let the doctor work.

I crouched closely by her head and tried to distract her from the pain and work the doctors were doing. I could see tears falling from the corner of her eyes, and hear her squeaky voice saying, "that hurt!" but letting them finish what had to be done anyway.  At one point near the end, she hollered out - yet holding still at the same time - and the doctor said, "oh, I think she felt that one."  It broke my heart. As a mother, the pain I was feeling being there with her and knowing I could do nothing more to soothe her or make it go away, was unbearable. My heart felt heavy.  We both couldn't wait to leave.

 I don't know many four year old's, or adults for that matter, who could have done what she did the way that she did it.  Kaitlyn is so tough and I am very proud to be her mother. One can only hope that stitches will be the worst of her earthly problems... but whatever comes her way, there is no doubt in my mind that Kaitlyn will be able to handle them.  Love you, Kaitlyn.  To the Moon and Back.