Joy

I'm not very good with re-capping but A LOT has happened in our life over the past year.  Rather than going off on long tangents about each event, it might be easier to summarize things with words.  Type 1 Diabetes. Loss of job. Job search.  Popcorn fiasco.  Job for Laura.  Another job for Laura.  Stress.  Finally a job for Shayne, stress, stress, and more stress.

Yet life is good.

Here we are.  Alive - a gift in and of itself. We're still moving forward, even if slowly. We have learned that we can do hard things.  We have found ways around stumbling blocks and you know what?  I'm learning even more so that life is not 'this or that'... there are many (MANY!) ways to still get what you want if you willing to think outside the box.  I'm discovering that it's seldom ever YES/NO, OPEN/CLOSE, or LIGHT/DARK.  This is life changing.  It's empowering. I can do ANYTHING.

Did you know that?

YOU can do anything, too.  Step outside your comfort zone.  Dare to be brave.  Do something uncomfortable.  Test yourself to think from other angles.

This blog is a celebration of life going on.  For all the challenges we have overcome and continue to. It's a celebration of finding joy in the journey, no matter how hard that journey may be right now.  I may not be where I want to be, but great things take time.  Rome wasn't built in a day.  We'll get there... and if not, we'll find something else and that will be great too.

Remember, life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it.

Find the joy.

Munn Family Christmas Letter 2015...

Dear Friends and Family,

We hope this letter finds you happy, healthy, and full of joy this holiday season!  We are thrilled to be at another Christmas season, our most favorite time of the year. 2015 was a great year for the Munn Family filled with many memories and laughter. 

It all really began with a dog. Early in December 2014 we found an adorable two week old Boxer puppy. Although I was skeptical about getting a puppy at this particular time, there was no denying the feeling we all had the first time we saw her; she was to be the "new" Daisy. She looked just like our dearly beloved pet of years ago. We fell in love and a month and many visits to the puppy later we took little Daisy home to be a part of our family. She was a really big handful for many months but has gradually developed into a loving companion and family member. Daisy still has her moments, but she's come a long way over the year and celebrates her first birthday November 30th. 

With the birth of a new year also came the birth of a new niece born to Sarah and Jason Benson January 5th, and a nephew to Danny and Uurtsaikh Burrows on February 11th. I was blessed to have been present at both remarkable all natural births. Hard to believe these babies are nearing their first birthdays already. How time flies!

We took our first family vacation in five years last April. We got to visit my sister Sarah, sister in law Alison, brothers David and Evan, and one of my best friends and cousin, Kristl, in their home state of Texas. Ellie was thrilled to ride a horse by herself for the first time, and Kaitlyn and Liam loved pretending to be baby kittens for Aunt Sarah and Alison. After two fun filled weeks together it was hard to say goodbye and we already long for another trip to Texas... hopefully next year to meet another new niece or nephew as Sarah and Alison are expecting this January 2016.  

May marked a busy month of many surgeries - all spaced just one week apart. Kaitlyn needed some dental work for a chipped tooth and her yearly EGD and esophagus dilation. Liam had ear tubes put in after a long start to the year of back to back infections and dental work as well. Poor Ellie began her orthodontic work by receiving her very first “expander” to make her small mouth bigger. With many years ahead of her, I keep reminding her it will all be worth it in the end.  Happy to report all procedures were a success with no problems since.  These procedures took place during birthday season; Liam turning two, Kaitlyn five, and Danelle 10. It was a busy time and I still look back and wonder how we managed it all. 

Beginning in summer 2014 our family began camping... a lot. This year was no different. It seemed that we were camping almost every other weekend the entire summer long. We camped at Lagoon, Crystal Hot Springs, Blackhawk in Payson Canyon, and Crystal Springs again in August. We are now "professional campers" with an outdoor shower and personal port a potty to prove it.  Some of our best memories have been made camping the past two years.  

We also had a fun time at Lagoon, a local theme park this summer. Unlike years past, we decided to get season passes for the year.  We used these passes several times over the course of the year and really enjoyed our regular days at Lagoon.  We usually met up with Danny and Uurtsaikh and their family to visit since they live close by and even stayed the night a few times.  We are hoping to buy passes again in 2016.

We attended two mini family reunions as well. The first reunion was with the Munn Family in Payson Canyon.  We kept busy making crafts, telling jokes, and playing games - reconnecting without the distractions of the material world. Although it was rainy some of the time everyone had a great time and I know no one could ever forget it. We had our first ever family talent show and got to see all the wonderful talent within our families.  We've been very fortunate to have all our family members attend these reunions, with Tyler and Jessica making the furthest journey from Arizona. 

Our second was our yearly traditional trip to Hatch, Utah. We love these visits. Hatch has a special place in our hearts and memories.  Liam got to ride in the 24th of July Hatch Town Parade for the first time, and Kaitlyn her first real ATV ride. Grandma Burrows let Ellie drive the ATV (with Grandma on the ATV of course). Ellie was a great driver (slow and cautious) which made me feel a little better about her driving a car in just five short years.  

Soon summer had past and the kids were back in school and their extracurricular activities again. Kaitlyn is now a Kindergarten student and Ellie in 5th Grade. Both girls are doing well in school and have been given great teachers this year. Ellie was nominated and won a Singers Company Scholarship. We are so proud and happy for her.  In light of this we decided to enroll Kaitlyn in Singers Company as well.  Both girls love this show choir program and are busy getting ready for their first show of the season in early December.  Danelle is also taking voice lessons with another recital mid-December. Our hands are full but our hearts are happy. 

September brought a visitor. My long time and another best friend came to Utah for the first time in 16 years to visit and meet our children.  We had a lovely time at a Park City Resort, visiting Utah Olympic park, Heber, Lagoon, Crystal Springs and all the in-betweens. Everyone was sad to see "Aunt Crissy" go. 

Shayne dazzled the neighborhood in October with his new Halloween decorations.  Our house was alive with spirits all month long and was definitely one of the hits of the neighborhood. Many compliments were paid as Trick or Treaters passed by. It was a wonderful night spent with Sarah and Jason's family, Patrick, Ashley, Noah, Mom and Dad Munn, and Mom and Dad LaTurner. We are already planning next Halloween.   Thanks to my Mom for babysitting, Shayne and I also got to have our first short getaway since Kaitlyn was born and we made our lifelong dreams come true to go to a Garth Brooks concert. 

We want everyone to know receiving this letter that we thank you for being a part of our lives and memories.  Each of you mean so much to us  and we love you! Have the best Christmas and 2016.

Lots of Love,   The Munn Family

This Thing Called Life

It’s been a while since I sat down and really written a blog.  Many well-meaning blogs were written on my phone, never to be transferred onto Blogger.  It’s sad really.  I used to love blogging.  Two things happened after I had Liam three years ago.  First of all it seemed that someone was ALWAYS sick.   The second – I had zero time to myself.  It wasn’t as easy to pull up a chair to a computer and write anymore. I always had someone needing me or something had to be done.  Even in the time it took to write this paragraph, I’ve already been up three times to help Liam and my dog.  I can’t complain though.  Life has been good to me.

I think for the sake of time, I will post a copy of our Christmas letter of what happened last year.  I think this will help get you up to speed on what’s going on in our family, and can help me pick up on newer topics. 

In my personal life, this year has been a year of hope and positive changes.  Around Christmas I received a FitBit Charge HR with the goal to lose 40 pounds before summer.  I’m not sure if I will lose the full 40 by the end of May, but I have lost around 21 since Christmas and still going strong.  The closer I get to my goal weight, the more motivated I feel to finish what I began.  With the warm weather settling back in, I am hopeful to put my weight loss on the fast track by exercising more often; walks, bikes rides, and maybe take up running.  It feels good to make myself more of a priority and get healthy while I’m at it. 

Liam just turned three years old.  I will be honest that I feel myself approaching a curve in my life I hoped I would be more ready for; the end of having babies.  Honestly, I thought I would be more ok with it than I have been. Everyone seems to think this should be an exciting time of my life, when I’m missing the baby days already.  I absolutely LOVE being a Mom.  It pains me to think they are growing up and in a blink of an eye, I won’t have any toddlers or preschoolers running around anymore.  In just a month, I could be done with diapers in my house forever.   I am trying to focus on all the positive things though about being done and hopefully I’ll make peace with the ache eventually.

For one thing, having older children can be very enjoyable.  We are going to the movies more often, planning trips, and starting to eat out.  I almost always get a full eight hours of sleep at night. I have two kids in school, and in a few short months all three will be in school at some point during the day.  I long for hours of freedom and silence – time to get whatever I want to done.   I haven’t had this in longer than I can remember.  We are planning bigger trips, and even not having kids napping during the day offers more flexibility to our schedule. We’ve been taking overnights away from the kids, and I even spent five wonderful days in Texas without my kids with me.  I’m sure once I taste the wonderfulness that “being done” means, I will feel much better about this transition in life.

That being said, I’m not getting rid of any of my big baby things YET.  Nothing is permanent YET. We aren’t past point of no return.  Only time will tell. Shayne might be more secure in his decision, but I can’t promise anything.

The other thing on my mind lately is finding that one special place to call HOME.  We’ve been in our neighborhood so long that almost everyone on our street is new.  Usually, we’re the ones to move before we get this far.  Several new families have moved in my area.  It feels like a whole new Somerset Village.  I’ve never lived anywhere long enough to be considered one of the older families in the ward.  We’ve been here five years and counting.  It’s been cramped.  It’s cluttered. We never have enough closet space.  We’ve sure had some great memories here though.  I’ve been talking to relators and financial departments about getting a loan and finding a home of our own though. We’re jumping through hoops and getting into a home hasn’t been as easy as signing the paperwork. We’d love to finally be able to give our kids the gift of a home of their own.  Part of the reason we’ve stayed here so long is to offer them some stability.  We all look forward to the change though and are looking forward to the day we can take our picture in front of a SOLD sign in our yard. Fingers crossed.

So that’s about it right now.  I hope to find more time to fill in my blog in the future, and maybe pull out a few old blogs of last year or even older to help full in the gaps a bit. Overall, I am in a great place in my life.  I have learned what it means to do without and am thankful for everything I am blessed with, taking nothing for granted. As they say, “enjoy the little things in life for one day you will look back and realize they were the big things.” -  Kurt Vonnegut

Dance Fever

Ballet used to be my passion.  More than that, it was probably more like an obsession.  All I could think about was dance.  It was in my very core, and I remember actually and literally thinking the phrase, "Without ballet, what's the pointe?" ;) At one point, I was actually quite good.  I was dancing six days a week at two different studio's (BYU with the Youth Artist program and Academy of Ballet), spending every free minute I had doing what I loved best.  It was a compilation of things that led up to my eventual my quitting around 16 years old and I began to pursue my new life in all things 'theater.'

It seemed like a no-brainer that when I became a mother, I would hope that one of my kids would pursue dancing... not to get back what I lost, but to have something in their lives to be passionate about, to love, motivate, and challenge them to do things that require practice, determination, and commitment.  I tried a couple of failed attempts to get Danelle into dance when she was little, but finally she showed interest again and I jumped at the opportunity to sign her up.

Danelle is taking Ballet/Jazz, and Kaitlyn is taking a Ballet/Tap class.  Danelle loved her dance class so much, I went ahead and enrolled her in tumbling as well.  From the very first day, I wanted to buy 'Proud Dance Mom' bumper stickers and sweaters, but I have resisted so far.  Of course I hope Danelle will try out for 'the team' next year, but the main objective of course is to have fun and learn something new.  I know when it comes time for the girls to be in the Christmas show, I will be front and center probably tearing up with pride and joy.  I am so happy that we could do this for them. I can't wait to see what their future's hold.

Our Brave Little Girl

"She's very brave for her age," the doctor whispered to me as he pulled out Kaitlyn's stitches.  Thinking back upon her life, I couldn't agree more.  Earlier that week, Kaitlyn had the mishap of going down a slide during a field trip and ended up getting so tossed and turned around that she landed chin first at the bottom of the slide and split open the bottom part of her chin.  When I received the call from her preschool teacher, I was definitely not expecting them to tell me that she had a 'significant gash' and it more than likely would need stitches.  I took her word for it, and after picking up Kaitlyn from school that day, we went straight to the doctor without my even looking at it.

Once we finally were at the doctor's office, a nurse pulled off Kaitlyn's soggy band aid to reveal the horrible gash.  It was indeed 'significant.'   Kaitlyn was worried about seeing the doctor, but composed herself well.  When the doctor came in, he confirmed my worst fear at that moment; she would most certainly need stitches.  Without wasting any time, I called for some back up from Shayne and my sister in law Sarah, to help me with Liam and offer moral support.  We started some numbing cream every 10 minutes and braced ourselves for what I knew was going to be hard on my baby girl.  I would have given anything to trade places with her.

Kaitlyn's had a big history of having to be brave for doctors.  Starting with her coin incident in June 2012, esophagus stretchings,  multiple EGD's, and surgery again in November 2013, if there's something I have come to know about Kaitlyn it's that she IS amazingly brave for her age.  I once read a quote that relates to her well; "Courage is being scared to death... and saddling up anyway." - John Wayne.  Kaitlyn knows when it's time to saddle up and 'get it done.'  When the moment came to give her stitches, she laid down, took a deep breath, and held as still as a statue and let the doctor work.

I crouched closely by her head and tried to distract her from the pain and work the doctors were doing. I could see tears falling from the corner of her eyes, and hear her squeaky voice saying, "that hurt!" but letting them finish what had to be done anyway.  At one point near the end, she hollered out - yet holding still at the same time - and the doctor said, "oh, I think she felt that one."  It broke my heart. As a mother, the pain I was feeling being there with her and knowing I could do nothing more to soothe her or make it go away, was unbearable. My heart felt heavy.  We both couldn't wait to leave.

 I don't know many four year old's, or adults for that matter, who could have done what she did the way that she did it.  Kaitlyn is so tough and I am very proud to be her mother. One can only hope that stitches will be the worst of her earthly problems... but whatever comes her way, there is no doubt in my mind that Kaitlyn will be able to handle them.  Love you, Kaitlyn.  To the Moon and Back.

The Munns Go Camping

The Munns Go Camping - June 2-4, 2014

Whenever we do something out of the ordinary,  we say "The Munns Go ..." Such as The Munns Go to Brick Oven (a comedy), The Munns Go to Lagoon (action), The Munns Go to Toys R Us (drama), or The Munns Go to Walmart (horror). Shayne and I will laugh as we talk about it later, almost as if it were a funny show or documentary. In this episode,  The Munns Go Camping (adventure).

First of all I have to say this trip wasn't originally meant to be a camping trip. We started planning a trip to Texas,  then Disneyland,  and when money kept running out we gradually stepped laddered down to Lagoon,  and finally camping.   To make it a little more appealing though, we decided to make it extra fun by going to a place I loved and remembered - Crystal Hot Springs in Honeyville,  Utah. Oh the memories there! I used to love going there as a kid. Swimming in the hot mineral water pools,  sliding down the slides, mixed with the fun combination of camping and family - it would be perfect. 

I hadn't seen my kids so excited in a long time! We bought a new tent a few days before and as all our camping stuff was being gathered,  anticipation was building along with the pile. They were so excited, the girls even sat in the car a full 30 minutes before we actually left the driveway.  Liam was well rested and the trip up went smoothly for everyone.  Once we reached Crystal Hot Springs, I wasn't at all surprised the first thing the girls would want to do was swim. My Mom and Dad who we were camping with had already been there a while and took the girls down for a swim while we hung back and set up camp.  Liam played in his new play yard, Shayne set up the tent, and I emptied the car and set up camp. 

I loved everything. It was so great getting away from our worries. I loved the fresh air and sunshine. Seeing the trees, beautiful sunset, my kids playing at the pool not far from us brought a smile to my face. Even the food tasted better at camp. 

Well, I loved ALMOST everything anyway. Ear wigs seemed to be drawn to me by a magnetic pull. Everywhere I turned, I was finding them on me.  Ew. I hate those little devil bugs. 

I will admit, I was nervous about sleeping the first night in the tent.  It was our first camping trip with kids and we had no idea what to expect. Everything went better than expected though. The sun and swimming wore the kids out so other than Liam waking briefly a couple of times, they slept all night long.

The kids woke bright and early to a chorus of birds singing and cows moo-ing in the distance.  Everyone soon gathered around camp to help cook breakfast. Dad made greasy bacon, and Shayne whipped up eggs and hashbrowns. I couldn't resist setting the table with our brand new camping dishes.  Bacon, eggs, and hashbrowns, complete with orange juice. After breakfast, we cleaned up the camp and by 10:00 am were ready to swim. 

I purchased three swim and slide passes and one swim only pass for Kaitlyn. The little ones had their life jackets on, and we were ready to go. The water was so warm, Liam just melted. He looked like he was going to take a nap right there floating in the water. Kaitlyn preferred the "cold" pool. She had swimming lessons with one of the father's teaching his daughter to swim.  Ellie started out staying with the group but after a while earned our trust and made friends so she swam wherever she wanted mostly.  Whenever Shayne swam, the kids surrounded him taking turns being thrown into the pool. You couldn't help but smile. 

After a couple hours, I wanted to try out the slide.  Going into the stairwell up to the slides felt like entering a time machine. Everything was EXACTLY how I remembered it as a kid. The pale blue walls, rusty hand rail, and rusty colored pavement going all the way up. I was no longer a 31 year old woman, I felt like a 11 year old girl all over again. Going down the slides was just like I remembered. I told Ellie the stories of my youth and every time we went down laughing and yelling, we would say, "Just one more time!"  I could have ridden it all day. 

Later into the day, my brother and his family came to join us for the night. My mom had prepared tin foil dinners, and we were excited to sing around the campfire and make s'mores.  Liam fell asleep that night to sounds of crackling fire, crickets, and Kumbaya being sung in the background.  Even though I was missing out on s' mores for the second night in a row, I treasured the moment.

Our last day was more relaxing at the pool than the first when everything was so new and exciting. We were all full and happy to be there after eating Danny delicious Mountain Man Breakfast he made for everyone in his Dutch oven. Ellie looked beautiful in some makeup Aunt Uurtsaikh put on her.  I spent a lot of time just sitting under my sport umbrella enjoying the sun and company of my little ones while snacking on trail mix and sipping soda. Poor Shayne didn't wear enough sunscreen the day before so he didn't enjoy the pool much this day. His poor aching back and face made it difficult to do much of anything, but he still worked hard to take down the tent and load the car back up. We knew we'd be sad to go back home later that day.  

Finally the trip was over and like a good dream - it ended too fast and we were back to reality. We had a wonderful time and hope to make Crystal Hot Springs a cherished tradition.  It wasn't Texas, Disneyland,  or Lagoon, but it more than made up for any disappointment we were feeling before. I am so glad we went camping; it was a great adventure.  

Where is my BRAIN!?

Where is my brain!? A question I am asking myself far too much lately. Recently,  Shayne was laid off along with 18 other employees.  I can't say this surprised us much though since they laid off 30 people only six months before. Truthfully, it was a dead end job that we are not sad to see gone,  but it paid the bills (and nothing more). We were just grateful  Shayne had work. It's been almost three weeks since this happened. Every day gets a little harder than the day before. 

Since this happened I stepped up to help my family through this difficult time. Shayne usually does the heavy lifting when it comes to providing for the family but when I took on full time babysitting hours, I felt the weight shift square on my shoulders.  I feel so blessed to have these friends to babysit for and for giving me the extra hours necessary to help fill some gaps. The boys I watch really are like family when we are together. I couldn't ask for a better arrangement.  

However, I take care of the family finances as well so I am on overload - especially with so little to work with. Bills are quickly piling up and while we have managed to stay afloat this long, we're sinking fast. The stress is often times too much to bear. My head often pounds thinking about everything there is to remember and what's coming next. Nothing seems clear or easy right now and I find myself distracted and spacey lately.  Even moody.  The only thing getting me through the day sometimes is my Diet Dr. Pepper, and I won't lie - - -  chocolate or ice cream.  

Friday I was overwhelmed with worry. It wasn't a bad day,  but my brain felt full and there were not enough hours in the day for what I needed to get done.  Ellie had her Singers Company show that night too. Just the week before she missed her performance because my brain went missing and I wasn't going to ruin this for her again. Thinking I had her costume all together,  it would have been easy but the bow went missing and we turned the house upside down looking for it. No bow. Realizing she was going to be late, we left without it. 

Driving there I thought I had reached my breaking point.  I was ready to toss in the towel, put in my 30 days notice to the landlord, and give up. I was on the verge of tears and feeling helpless and hopeless as I took my bowless kid to her show. Once at the mall, I ran around to spend money I didn't have on a bow. I found one AND glitter and raced down to give Ellie the makeshift bow. I had done it. I did something right. The show was going on,  just like life goes on. Ellie did an amazing job. In no time at all, I forgot my worldly problems and nothing else mattered except my family and this moment.  

Watching my daughter perform that night gave me the intense sense of pride and joy. Yes, for her and her amazing developing talent but also in myself for doing what it takes to get things done - my perseverance to get where I want to be someday. I am not a quitter. Money doesn't buy happiness and I have everything I need as long as I have my family. As mentioned in Ellie's show during a song called Life's a Happy Song; "You've got everything that you need - - right in front of you!  Nothing's stopping you, nothin that you can't do that the world can throw at you!"

We'll get through this. One day at a time working together. It may be stormy now, but it doesn't rain forever,  right?