One STINKY Memory :-s

Occassionaly you may hear someone ask "what is your most embarrassing moment?" I hate this question because there is one moment of my past I WISH I could forget - but more importantly than that - I wish OTHERS would forget. Every so often is is brought up and I become the family joke for the evening.... here is the story - my most embarrassing moment. The one that haunts me and I will never forget.

It was summer.... I am guessing I was about 6 or 7 at the time. I was rambunctious and full of energetic youth and curiosity. We drove up to American Fork Canyon for the day to spend time as a family at a little pond they had there. I was always a "mommy's little helper" so when Mom asked me to take Danny (4 or 5) and David (2 or 3) to the restroom with me so they could go, I thought nothing of it partly because SECRETLY I WANTED TO GO for I knew that it was outhouse style. Oh yes! For some SICK reason I looked forward to gazing down at the poop, pee, wads of toilet paper, and other gross and unmentionable things. It was fascinating to see the fly's hover around like they were enjoying a gross feast or something.

Just then, I realized that my brother Danny had brought in a couple rocks. "What a novel idea," I thought!!! Let's throw in the rocks! So Danny, David, and myself threw in small pebbles. I sent Danny out for more pebbles, and when he came back he brought the most amazing rock of all. It was big and heavy and just right for a good splash and it would certainly startle all those flies! "GOOD IDEA!!!" I yelled to Danny to go get MORE big rocks - I wanted to throw in the first one!

With GLEE and a big smiling face, I gazed again down into the most disgusting hole I would ever see. I held up the rock, and bent right over the outhouse hole. "ONE.... TWO.... THREE!!!!" and I dropped the rock!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SPLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All of the poop, pee, wads of toilet paper, and other unmentionable stuff splashed all over me and the outhouse. It was in my teeth. It was in my hair. It was in my eyes, and ears. OH YES, I was covered in POO. I could taste it, smell it, feel it. Now the flies were hovering around..... ME.

I ran out of the outhouse screaming and about ready to lose my mind with the nasty feeling that was covering me! I think I cut the fun night short because we left the canyon in a hurry just after that. I remember when we were driving home my mom gagging so much we had to pull over for her to wash me with freezing cold water on the side of the road. It was a HORRIBLE ride home. When we got back to the house, I took a shower... make that a FEW showers. I washed my hair, skin, ears, eyes, EVERY PART several times worried sick that I might get a disease or something. I scrubbed my teeth so hard I thought they were going to fall out of my very mouth.

Never again did I have the same "affection" for the outhouse. In fact now I can't even USE an outhouse, let alone look down the hole anymore. Thinking back, I still wonder myself "what was I thinking?"

So - there you have it. One of the many embarrassing stories of my youth. I am sure I have a few more, but none more embarrassing or horrifying than this one.