Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good Night

Another Christmas past... I have to admit that going into this holiday, I didn't have a lot of the "Christmas Spirit" I usually have over the Holidays. It hit in waves of excitement and concern over the usual things and the added stress Christmas can bring financially. Everything worked out as always, and the holidays turned out pretty great as always.

This Christmas Eve was spent with the Burrows/LaTurner bunch. It was our first Christmas Eve together in a LONG time - at least four years. Unfortunately Shayne was scheduled to work and it changed our night a little, but we still had a great time together. Mom cooked a perfect dinner, we played the Twas the Night Before Christmas "Left/Right" game, and made time to search for a pickle on hidden on the Christmas tree to bring us a year of good fortune. Shayne left for work around 8:00 p.m. and I was on my own the rest of the night.

My hair stylist (who was a much better talker than a hair-cutter *sorry to say*) gave me a great idea for a new Christmas tradition. She said in her home growing up, the table was always set for Christmas breakfast when they woke up and they ate breakfast casserole for breakfast with a simple recipe. Her recipe sounded enticing, but I found one online that could cook all night in a slow cooker. PERFECT! Do the dirty work Christmas Eve, and wake up to a really tasty hot meal. I even used the crock pot slow cooker bags to help with clean up the next day. I was so excited to set up for my family on Christmas Eve.

Being alone, I guess that made me Santa's helper too. Helping Santa without Shayne was extremely strange to me, and truthfully, kind of boring. Santa had it all put together the night before (thank heaven) and it made it so much easier. It was a little disheartening to go to bed knowing Shayne would be at work all night.

Shayne and our family enjoyed the wonderful candle lit breakfast that had cooked perfectly over night. Danelle was too excited to eat (which inspired next years rule to eat her breakfast before opening anything). Shayne went to bed for a while after that and when he woke up, although we were showered and hair done, we stayed in our pajamas for unwrapping just as if it was the early morning.

Everyone got wonderful things. Santa brought Danelle the Siamese fighting fish she had so wanted, and named him Gill. Kaitlyn got a pink and blue Cozy Coupe car from Santa, and loves it! I finally got Danelle the perfect gift for her; a deluxe "everything" art set. Paints, markers, colored pencils, crayons, paper, scissors, and all the accessories all together complete with easel for the artist's comfort. Best $20 ever spent! Kaitlyn loved her play smart phone... I think I did pretty good picking for the girls this year. They got many more fun toys and activities as well.

Shayne and I got our gifts last minute, but found some really fun stuff. I think Shayne's favorite gift I bought was the remote control helicopter. He said that he always wanted one, but never got one before and it meant a lot to him. It was fun see him flying it in the house... until hit the ceiling, fell on the floor, flew back up and ricocheted off the table breaking a piece... Poor guy has been looking for parts ever since. He also got a shaver, shirt, and some pretty great jeans.

It's hard to say what gift was my favorite. I am enjoying my hair dryer with a brush attached so much more than I thought I would. It's great to straighten my hair, then curl it all in 15 minutes tops. I actually find it easier now than curling it like I usually do. I got some much needed jeans from the second hand store. I could have bought a brand new pair and a shirt but for the same price as that outfit I found four pairs of jeans, one used shirt, and three cheaper WalMart shirts. I felt like I scored, considering I needed clothes that fit (everything else was way too big now). I also got a Campbells Recipe Collection cookbook that I am LOVING. Most of the recipes have pictures included and they are all "real family meals" that I know my family would actually eat. I might blog about some of my findings.

I should add that my Dad drew my name in our Burrows/LaTurner drawing, and Shayne and he went in together on a really amazing gift; a SodaStream. I am loving it. As far as soda is concerned, this is the way to go. It's not made with high fructose corn syrup so its naturally lower in calories; 35 calories vs the 100 calories in the same 8oz of normal soda. Where diet is concerned, SodaStream is the way to go. It's made with Splenda, not Aspartame. Plus, it's good for the environment saving bottles.... OK, OK, sorry I know I have turned into a commercial and your probably wondering what this has to do with Christmas, but I AM way excited. Oh and for the record - it's delicious!

We got many great and wonderful gifts from great and wonderful people. I would name them all but I know I would forget someone. The girls were especially spoiled. I enjoyed watching them open their many gifts and seeing the excitement in their eyes. Minus Shayne working, I think this was a pretty wonderful holiday. I enjoyed having so many family out to share it with us! Tyler, Jessica, and family came from Oklahoma. David from Texas, and later that week the Chadburn brothers and Rebecca from St. George.

It was over in a flash. I look forward to 2012. I have a feeling a lot will change for the better by next Christmas for EVERYONE in our families. We are expecting two weddings, Tyler and Jessica moving back, Evan and Monyka buying a home, and although no one has said for sure - many "possible" pregnancies... ;) Did I mention? Shayne graduates in 2012 as well. Much good is coming! We hope you have a wonderful 2012 and a happy Christmas.

Pie, anyone?

I have only made one kind of pie in my life.... pumpkin! I love pumpkin pie, but the recipes I tried left my pies looking a little green. Everyone said they tasted fine but they never were enjoyed the way I hoped they would be.

A friend on Facebook posted that she was making pumpkin pie, and I was curious what her recipe was. Maybe it was time to get back on the saddle and try again.

Here is her recipe;

Perfect Pumpkin Pie

1 15 oz can of pumpkin
1 14 oz can sweetened condensed milk
2 large eggs
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp cloves
**Or - I found out later these spices can be simplified with 1 tbsp pumpkin pie spice**
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp salt
1 9 inch (unbaked)pie crust


Preheat oven to 425. Whisk pumpkin, sweetened condensed milk, eggs, spices, vanilla, and salt together til smooth. Pour into crust bake 15 minutes, then turn temperature down to 350 and bake 35-40 minutes or until a knife comes out clean let cool and enjoy!

**My friend also added that to get a less soggy crust underneath, you can bake the UNFILLED crust for 15 minutes or until LIGHTLY brown. She called this partial baking.**

It was perfect! We enjoyed every bite. I was so impressed, I decided to make a pumpkin pie or two for Christmas Eve dinner. Now I feel like I can move onto other pies since I've mastered pumpkin. Apple pie sounds really good lately.

They Don't Call it TERRIBLE TWO's for Nothin!

Kaitlyn just flipped the switch. She is now in the early stages of the dreaded TERRIBLE TWO'S!!! It seems like only two weeks ago she was easier to manage but NOW she is an energetic, curious, able, loud mouthed little spitfire that is getting into EVERYTHING. She is not laying down well for diapering which makes me question my cloth diapers lately. Lately, she wants to feed herself too - which is WONDERFUL but when she decides to play with her food she won't let me take her spoon and feed her. She is trying to climb in and out of everything... I knock on wood when I say this but with her height its only a short matter of time before I know she will climb out of her crib for the first time (ahhh!). Simple trips to the store or out for a visit sometimes require a lot of energy to keep her contained.

On one hand though, she is doing amazing things. Kaitlyn is putting together words and talking so much. I love hearing what she calls things - for example; in the car I let my girls watch a DVD player for longer trips. I put on Care Bears or Blues Clues for them, and there is a song where they sing "la la la." Kaitlyn now calls Care Bears "La la's." But ELMO is also a "La la." I let her watch 15 minutes of Elmo while I cook us lunch on weekdays, and Elmo sings "la la" at the end of his show. I love hearing her sing it. For Blues Clues, she can hum and sing different parts of the song: "A CLUE! A CLUE!" Makes my heart burst just thinking of her sweet voice singing them.

Also with her talking; I was washing her hands yesterday and when I put her hands in the water, she said "HOT." Ahhh. Danelle heard it too but one night she even said, "NIGH ELLA (she says Elle instead of "Ellie")." I used to write down the words she says but now she is talking SO MUCH I had to force myself to stop. She learns new words every day.

Kaitlyn is understanding my commands beautifully as well. Sometimes, I will test her. Like yesterday, "Kaitlyn - close the door." She closes it. "Bring me the bowl." She brings it. "Bring this to Daddy." She does it. "Don't touch." Haha, now that one is a little tougher - she's not perfect! ;)

She is learning a lot about shapes, colors, animals, and body parts lately too. She is such a smart cookie! She loves books and learning new things. We need to pull out or find many more baby books to keep her interested.

Kaitlyn has a fun personality but she can have a real "attitude" too which I hope no one takes personally. She seems to prefer her uncles to hold her more than the aunts... interesting huh? She loves her aunts but she seems more 'warm' with the uncles. When it comes to women, Kaitlyn is mostly partial to me and my mom, but after some time with other women she can be very loving. I think the best way to win over Kaitlyn is by playing with her - she remembers it.

Meet the new Betty Crocker

In this house, it seems like we have the same meals every month. Our menu usually looks like this:

Taco's or Mexican food in general, like nacho's
Sandwiches or Burgers
CHICKEN! CHICKEN! CHICKEN! Cooked in many styles
Rice with something
Spaghetti
Fajita's
Soups
Breakfast for dinner
Hamburger helper or frozen meals
Roasts - of any kind
BBQ meats
Asian stir fry style dinners
Homemade pizza
Chili

And... that's about it. Honestly. Sometimes I will think of something new like NAVAJO TACO'S, POTATO BAR, or FISH. Most the time though, I can't think of or know how to cook many other dinners, so I just stick with what works. It's finally happened though. After eight years of marriage, and hundreds of nights of the same dinners, I decided maybe I should learn some new meals.

Here is my new plan; I am learning a new dish from a cookbook every week for the rest of this year and into 2012. That's 57 new meals. I started this week with a simple one; Vegetable Beef Soup from my trusty Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook. It was AMAZING. Learning from the cookbook did take longer, but now that I know how, this dish will be more simple the next time around. My family loved it so much, they ate it for lunch instead of dinner. It was a big hit!

I have already decided week two I will attempt to make Chicken Fried Steak from scratch and homemade country gravy. Wish me luck. I am debating posting my cooking experiences with each on this site - maybe.

Who knows, maybe there will be another great chef in the family. ;)

Oh CHRISTMAS Tree!

My Facebook status right now. "I had wonderful intentions with our home made gingerbread tree ornaments but its backfiring like crazy. Kaitlyn keeps eating them or pulling off the candies. Gumdrops are not fun when mashed in the carpet. Even our dog likes the cookies. :-/ Sheesh."

I did have such wonderful intentions when I planned to make real gingerbread cookie ornaments. Danelle and I decorated them beautifully! We were so excited to put them on the tree but I have a feeling they are not going to work out long. From the very first night (yesterday!) I have had more STICKY, ICKY, EWWWY, and YUCKY candy around than I can handle. Kaitlyn is taking the candy off the cookies and eating them, spitting them out occasionally, and sometimes accidentally mashing them in my floor.

Bless Kaitlyn's heart. It doesn't matter what I put up, I know this will be a hard year for her and the Christmas tree. I might get some shatterproof bulbs tied with string she can pull on and off as she pleases instead. The tree is going to look funny no matter what though. She WILL pull off the ornaments, and having a six foot tree empty the bottom three feet doesn't sound very pretty. I think buying ornaments that are more kid friendly and not edible or sticky will be a nice compromise.

The dog will benefit from a less enticing tree too. Daisy, Daisy, Daisy. She loves the cookies we put up too. She guards them with her life.

I look forward to Christmas tree night every year. We make it a big deal for our family. Back in the day, I remember driving to the Christmas tree farm (getting lost on the way) and helping our family cut down a tree. They bailed it for free, and we ate popcorn and cocoa at the cutest Christmas tree place in Ohio. Then when at home, we all took turns putting up ornaments (I am sure my Mom fixed later on, haha). These were such wonderful memories, I knew I wanted to start traditions like them for our family.

Every year, I start by decorating the house. For me, this is the longest most dreaded part. I like the scene to be set before we put up our tree. Then, we set up the tree, lights, and bows on the tree (ready to decorate). Shayne picks up a Papa Murphey's pizza and after dinner, we all gather around the tree to decorate. The girls get to put up their yearly ornaments (one for each year), I hang the yearly family ornaments, and Shayne likes putting on hooks and handing over the ornaments. He hangs a couple too, but passing them over seems to be more "his thing." Once all the ornaments are on, Shayne lifts Danelle up in the air to put on the star.

We love this next part; Shayne turns off all the lights in the house, and we prepare for the tree lighting. One by one Shayne turns on the Christmas lights, leaving the tree for last. Finally, he lights the tree and what a pretty sight it is with our shiny star on top. We all stand there a while and soak it in. It's really one of the most fun nights we have as a family. I hope one day my children will cherish these memories as much as I do my childhood and new memories.

Welcome Christmas! Don't go by too fast...

One for the Memory Books

All year, I thought I would put up my Christmas tree the day before Thanksgiving. I liked the idea of Black Friday shopping and coming home, wrapping, and having Christmas gifts under the tree. Life happened though, and I didn't get to do either this of those things year... and it's probably for the best. Shayne and I were impromptu house hosts for our Thanksgiving dinner this year. Here's the story.

All week of Thanksgiving, I was in a cleaning mood. Tuesday I cleaned the upper half of the house and Wednesday I cleaned the main floor. I even cleaned unusually well; like cleaning my ceiling fan, vacuuming under the couch, and wiping down cupboards. I think my subconscious was preparing for Thanksgiving possibly being at my house. I remember even joking with Shayne, "haha, it's like we are having Thanksgiving here!"

Thanksgiving Day: I arranged with Sarah Cameron, our host, to help her decorate the church. We planned to have our Thanksgiving at a church this year because we were expecting three families to be there (or about 40 people). That afternoon however, Sarah said that she heard that another family was in the church at the time. I remember feeling like I should tell her to have it at our house (since we were basically ready anyway) but not wanting to complicate things more, I suggested they move it to a Relief Society Room instead.

4:30 - Dinner time. Everyone was at the church waiting and hungry. Only one problem; the church was locked. Not knowing who to get a hold of, we started to toss around new ideas. One possibility was to have it at Grandpa Underwood's home. Grandpa gets anxious around large groups in his home though, especially at night, so maybe this wasn't the best idea. I suggested we move the party to my place - it's all ready and it would be easier with Kaitlyn.

Shayne and I hurried home to beat the masses, put away the dog, and get ready really fast. I threw back up the Thanksgiving decorations I took down to decorate the church with, made room for food, and set up tables. Shayne moved some couches around, and in no time at all we were ready for the feasting.

It was almost as if it was meant to be at our place, and the church incident never happened. We were all together having a wonderful time. Although the food was a little cold, it was tasty and hit the spot. I felt warm inside knowing that we could help host this Thanksgiving. Sarah did an excellent job organizing the food assignments and preparing everything for the big event.

Later that night, the girls and I drove over to my Mom's house to go to the Festival of Lights with them, Becca, and the boys. Already feeling extra accommodating, I emptied out my car and we all loaded in my car for a couple of trips around the Festival of Lights. Six kids and four adults piled in my car. The kids really loved seeing the lights. I can't wait to go again when it snows.

Once Kaitlyn was in bed, Shayne and I watched ELF while I decorated the house in Christmas - leaving only the tree to be done as a family. It was a crazy, wild, spontaneous, memorable, and perfect day.

In my family, it's tradition to say what your thankful for on Thanksgiving. I am thankful for many things this year. I am thankful for this home and that I have the means to accommodate parties and large groups, like this, easier. I am thankful for having everything that we need; food, clothes, warmth, water, and furniture. I am thankful for my husband's work, and for my upcoming daycare job that will help us make ends meet. I wish I could say I am more thankful for school... I am thankful for the outcome school will bring and the opportunity to further my education. I am even more thankful Shayne is almost done and I am ending my third year.

I am thankful for our family and friends who have been there for us even in the toughest of times. I am surrounded by some pretty great family - and have many people I consider best friends who would go through hell and back with me if I asked. I am thankful for my girls and for their sweet spirits. They make me laugh and warm my heart every day. Danelle is such a help to me with baby Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn helps me look at life in exciting ways. I would do anything for them.

I am thankful for my husband and for the love and support that he gives me - he is an amazing father and companion for me. Shayne comforts me and understands me completely. I can and do tell him everything; we have no secrets. I love the security I feel with him. He really is my best friend - I am lucky to have him forever.

Last but not least, I am thankful for the Gospel, my Heavenly Father, and our Savior Jesus Christ. I am thankful for prayer, scripture, inspiration, and church. I know I have been blessed in my life. There is so much for me to be thankful for - and much more I could mention but I think you get the idea. I am filled with so much love. Life is great.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Halloween Bucket List

This year, I decided to make up a Halloween bucket list. We have had a lot going on in our lives, and October was a very uniquely stressful month so it was nice to break up the days with some activities.

We started off the season with the traditional trip to the pumpkin patch called Jakers in Springville. Evan, Monyka, Mom, and my family all came. I think it was the most fun for the girls, but we all had a good time. The girls love the petting zoo and corn play pit. I enjoyed the break in the hayride. We all picked pumpkins (we even talked Mom into one!) and on the way home enjoyed a Happy Meal at McDonalds.

A week later was our Halloween party. I was having pregnancy issues at this point (read earlier blogs) and debated about even doing a party. It seemed like terrible timing and I worried I was overdoing it by getting ready. Shayne was a big help with the entire process. He did everything that I asked him, without question and we were actually ready in time for the party. Danelle and I even had time that morning to check off "Halloween Cookie Day" from our list so we could have a dessert for the party.

Our theme for this year's Halloween party was the "Halloween Queen Pageant." We had done it in the past, and it seemed like a fun enough activity that we should repeat it. With Monyka (the current Halloween Queen at the time) as my co-host, we had some wonderful fun watching Mom, Sarah C., Ashley, Evan, and Jason try out. I got such a laugh out of their Frankenstein impersonations for their talent. In the end, Sarah C. won 2nd attendant, Jason was 1st attendant, and Mom took them all by winning the Halloween Queen. She really stayed in character and took the competition seriously. I was happy to see her win! Everyone that tried out did amazing jobs. I wish I could have given them all an award in something.

My sister Sarah and Alison came to the Halloween party too and was now out for a fun visit! This might seem out of order, but my family did our Thanksgiving on October 23rd in a Park City Lodge Sarah reserved. It was the perfect setting for our Thanksgiving and a wonderful meal. I wish I would have remembered my memory card to take pictures. I stayed the night that night with Sarah, Alison, and Danelle. It wasn't planned so it was kind of a funny stay, but I really enjoyed the time we had together. It was a nice distraction from my pregnancy worries.

We checked off another bucket list item with Sarah; Corn Maze. On October 25, we all went out to Thanksgiving Points "Cornbelly's" corn maze. I was surprised how many free activities they had for the children! Kaitlyn and Danelle were loving it and all the attention they were getting. Kaitlyn opted out of the maze, so Mom took her to play while the girls and I went through the maze. It did get pretty "cornfusing" at times, but we found our way through and have a really funny picture to show for it.

Thursday, we met up with Mom and Dad Munn, Ashley, Patrick, Grandpa, and the girls for a fun pumpkin carving night and KFC - a family favorite. We had a great time carving pumpkins. The girls impressed me this year by cutting their pumpkins from a pattern! Shayne took some pretty great photo's and I heard there was AMAZING apple pie served. I wish I could have stayed all night but Kaitlyn was "into everything" and this was the night my pregnancy problems turned more serious and I knew I had to rest... the next day we miscarried. :(

Bummed out, Sunday the 30th came. I was starting to get around more and really wanted to knock out more of our Halloween bucket list and lighten the mood. I made a homemade pumpkin shaped pizza for my family. Even though it wasn't Papa Murphey's like I originally wanted, it was very good and definitely raised some spirits.

The rest is history. I have already made a Christmas bucket list and plan to start this week possibly by making gingerbread men to hang on our tree. I am glad that we were able to accomplish many (even if not all) of our bucket list for Halloween. Although this season was tougher than most, I feel like we seized the month and I look forward to our new holiday lists.

Hocus Pocus

If you read my previous blog, you understand that Halloween came at a very difficult, confusing, and emotional time this year. I wasn't expecting much from this Halloween. We had made plans with Evan and Monyka to have a dinner and having help trick or treating with the girls, but I have to admit I wondered that morning if they would happen. I had a very hard day the Monday of Halloween and my motivation and mood were affected. I kept saying to myself, "maybe this is too much too soon..." However, I can honestly say that I am glad we carried through with our plans though because we ended up having a wonderful and memorable Halloween night.

Evan and Monyka showed up and brought their cheerful moods with them. Evan took over in the kitchen and encouraged Monyka and I to take the kids trick or treating while he did the cooking. I hadn't thought about taking the kids out, but I thought it would be good for my condition at the time to get moving and I did want to see the girls getting candy. It was a warmer day, but we got cold soon and decided to go home for a quick break for dinner and warmer clothes.

Perfect timing! Evan had the table all set for us :). He made chili, little Halloween hot pocket style rolls with ham and cheese, and rolls. He even went all out and made homemade root beer. Everything was perfect. The food really hit the spot.

Shayne kept busy too; he decorated our yard earlier that day and had the computer set up to a speaker system in the garage with scary sounds. Only one problem: the music stopped every 10 minutes. The entire night Shayne went out every 10 minutes to start the music again and let out some fog from the garage. Everyone said we were one of the coolest houses in the neighborhood (next to the one that made the spook alley!).

This time when we went trick or treating, we decided to just take Danelle. Kaitlyn enjoyed trick or treating, but it was getting cold and we planned to be out a while. Monyka filled up Kaitlyn's bucket as we went. Danelle loved the attention she was getting for her cat costume. After a short time, it was dark and Danelle decided she had enough candy. I think we missed about eight houses.

When we got back, I had to laugh that Evan was out on the porch staying very still... he scared Danelle a little and said that he had been doing it all night. He was dressed as Joker and when the kids came up to take a candy from the cauldron he was holding he would make a loud noise at them. I found this so amusing that Danelle and I hid in some bushes to watch and video tape. I still laugh watching the footage.

Poor Shayne had to go to work :(. It was hard to see him go on a holiday, especially one he loves so much. Thankfully though, Evan and Monyka could stay a little longer. Once the girls were in bed, and Mom left from her Halloween visit, we decided to watch the classic CASPER. I think I was the only one fully awake when the movie was over, but it meant a lot to me that they stayed.

We had such a great night, we have made plans for next year. We love the fact that this community does "real" trick or treating. We loved seeing the neighborhood go crazy with decorations and a couple of them with spook alleys. You can already see the light bulbs above Shayne's head for next year; out do the neighbors with the main spook alley. I enjoy seeing him get so excited! It even inspired him to do a light display on the house for Christmas with borrowed lights his parents own.

Even though the day started out rough, the second half was amazing. I am so happy to have family to come cheer me up when and HOW I need it. This Halloween season I was consumed with so much stress and worry - I didn't feel the same "Halloween spirit." I am glad I found it again, before it was too late. :)

Lost but not Forgotten

I realize this is somewhat of a different blog. The subject matter seems to be considered "taboo." I think most people (indirectly affected) can just go on with their lives hunky dory, but this experience affected me deeply even though it feels like a dream now.

A little over a month ago, I thought I was having a "pregnancy scare." We weren't necessarily trying for a baby, but have never been against the idea of having a third either. When I was a couple days late, I went to the dollar store for the first cheap test I could find. The next day, I saw a very faint almost non existent positive on the test. My mouth dropped... it had taken us THREE YEARS to find out we were pregnant with Kaitlyn and this just happened out of no where. Two days later, I got a free pregnancy test at our family doctor's office and sure enough: PREGNANT, due June 18, 2012.

I processed this new idea; Kaitlyn would be just over 25 months, or two years apart. A little closer than I imagined our next one being, but do-able none the less. I thought of changing two sets of diapers, needing a double stroller, what if it's a boy, and how would Kaitlyn (who is so needy right now) handle a possibly rough pregnancy. One thing I didn't think of was miscarriage. I hadn't had a miscarriage before, and with a complicated pregnancy like Kaitlyn's I thought that any baby could survive after what she had been through.

I told Shayne later that day. I had just lost all my weight so I thought it would be appropriate to give him a stack of candy bars and my positive report from the doctor saying, "If I am going to gain weight - - - SO ARE YOU!" He caught on right away and gave me a hug. From that moment on, our lives over the next few weeks would be altered.

It was in my fifth week we started to have problems. Having similar problems with Kaitlyn, I honestly didn't think much of it. It caused the normal alarm, but I have read that spotting can be normal in the first trimester, one out of three women spot and half of them miscarry. I had tremendous hope that this little baby would survive. At 5w, 4d, we had our first ultrasound. The baby was nothing more than a speck, but it was there. Hope regained; especially when the spotting seemed to be clearing up.

I prayed for this baby; pleading that I would know how to take care of it. A blanket of peace swept over me. I felt very distinctly that I could resume normal life; this baby will be a part of our family if it's meant to be no matter what I do, and if not, resting will not save it. This was strange to me because when I prayed for Kaitlyn, I had a sense of PANIC - "REST NOW, DO AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE!!!" I believe it's because of those promptings that Kaitlyn is here with us though. Kaitlyn would have never survived me doing normal routines. With Kaitlyn, I bed rested six weeks of my first trimester.

I seemed to do well all during my sixth week. I even started to notice morning sickness; something everyone tells you is a "good sign." The spotting was going away, and I really thought that everything would be alright.

I had an ultrasound scheduled for Friday, October 28, I would be nearly seven weeks pregnant. Something bad happened that night though; the spotting became bleeding. I was glad I was going in to see Dr. Crouch that day. I needed answers. I remember being so thrown off by the bleeding, that I forgot to do my urine sample at the doctors office and had to drink water and give another sample. I went in with tears in my eyes. I was now afraid for this baby and nervous what this would mean for me.

The ultrasound looked relatively normal. The embryo had grown significantly and the fact that it was still there gave me hope but at seven weeks along, you'd expect to find a heartbeat. No heartbeat and bleeding. The doctor was kind, but let me know he thought I would miscarry. He would give me another nine days of waiting, but if there was still no heartbeat, he felt it best to terminate the pregnancy early.

Monyka was with me for the ride home. I was confused, and my brain was all consumed with what I would do if faced with that decision. What if they just couldn't see the heartbeat? What if we terminated a healthy pregnancy? How would that be to miscarry? Once at home, I held the picture of our embryo that day and could not contain my tears.

Later that night and early into the next morning the "process" began. I won't go into details but it was more painful, emotional, and harder on the body than I expected. I went to the emergency room wondering about blood loss to find out that as far as miscarriages are concerned; this was only moderately bad. This process lasted through the weekend and by Tuesday we were done.

I have to admit that part of me hoped the baby was still ok. I was in major denial about it. Saturday November 5, I had another follow up ultrasound confirming that my body had done what it was supposed to; no baby. I miscarried at 6w 6d pregnant.

Miscarriage is hard on the body physically and emotionally. The moment we found out we were pregnant our life plan shifted and we built up hopes and dreams for that little one. We altered our plans and loved the baby instantly. I went through test after test hoping that this pregnancy would make it. Now that we lost the pregnancy, I have moments where I feel somewhat empty and slow to get back to my normal routines. I have a new appreciation for my children and their safe deliveries. I feel more compassion for mothers who have miscarriages, especially multiple miscarriages and those who miscarry and don't have children.

People ask me if we are going to try again right away. This is a difficult question for me to answer. Part of me wants to have a baby right away, but most of me thinks Shayne and I should stick with the original plan for now. Our plan was to start thinking about having a baby next summer after Shayne graduates and has health insurance and job security. Six more months might mean great things for Kaitlyn's development when a baby comes as well; potty trained, sleeping in toddler bed, easier transition for her to sleep with Danelle, feeding herself well, and possibly even preschool. It will also give me time to get some school work behind me. We still feel that if Heavenly Father wants us to have a baby sooner than it will be, however we are not going to TRY until the summer next year. I hope we don't have the same experience again.

NEW ME

I have been thinking about this blog for a very long time. YEARS. Yep, I have been losing weight SLOWLY for years. I set a lower goal (but realistic) then I ever thought I would reach and TODAY I DID IT. As of this moment and pending I maintain my weight for six weeks I have achieved LIFETIME MEMBERSHIP status with Weight Watchers. I think my friends at Weight Watchers look at me as "the girl that came in and just wanted to lose 20 pounds," but what they don't know is that I KNOW what it is like to be in their shoes. I know how it feels to be "obese" and "overweight." It was easier to gain the weight than it was to lose it. Here is my story.

I started gaining weight mid junior year of high school. This is around the time Shayne and I started dating and I was eating out more, tasting and trying new things, and a stressful time academically where food was my comfort. I also was working at fast food chains, McDonalds, Taco Time, and Taco Bell where the food available for me was not the best food FOR me. Without even realizing it, I gained my "freshmen 15" in high school.

College wasn't any "friendlier." Now all the sudden, the ball was completely in my court. So was the convenience of eating on campus. It seemed during this time I began to eat out of boredom. I even had a mini fridge in my dorm room to help it along. With badly prepared microwaveable food as my cheapest option, nutritionally, I was lagging.

I think I started to notice I was gaining weight though after I got married, and gained ten more pounds working full time and I believe through added stress. People were starting to take pictures of me that I didn't like... I was wearing size 12-14 jeans, and soon to be growing... because a year into our marriage I found out I was pregnant.

I gained 60 big ones during my pregnancy and my doctors were not kind about it. My blood pressure was high, and there was no control. I blamed much of this on my swelling, but realized only so much was swelling since only 30 pounds came off when Danelle was born. I was the biggest I have ever been. I don't have a lot of pictures of this time of my life and I actually thought I hid my weight well. I was 195 pounds and wearing size 16 jeans. I knew I had a problem at this point. Something had to change.

It was at this point (end of 2005) that my mom started to count calories and lose weight so I made an incentive chart, $1 for every time I exercised, $1 for every day in my calorie range, and $5 for every five pounds lost. I earned $120 and lost about 20 pounds. Now 175, I felt pretty good. I was still overweight, but this was a number I could handle. I lost all the weight from being pregnant with Danelle.

In 2006, after my av node ablation on my heart, my doctor STRONGLY suggested I lose more weight for the sake of my heart health. During the time waiting for my surgery and just after, I had strict orders for a heart healthy diet. Having the scare of my heart problem jolted me that I needed to lose more weight - I had to get in a healthy BMI. In 2006, I started dieting again and lost 20 more pounds. I was now 155, and the upper edge of "healthy BMI." I was proud and feeling good. In 2008, I lost 10 more pounds and was now 145, a number I felt REALLY good about. I stayed this weight for a year, until I found out I was pregnant with Kaitlyn Marie.

Kaitlyn's pregnancy "physically" was a much easier pregnancy. Her pregnancy was complicated with a tear in the placenta early that caused problems that whole time through, but physically for ME it was perfect. I had excellent blood pressure, no swelling, never had aching, and I only gained 35 pounds which was considered healthy weight gain (they told me 25-35 is normal). I am so glad I was healthy enough to not make this pregnancy more complicated for Kaitlyn by having blood pressure problems.

Once Kaitlyn was born, I lost 15 pounds easily, but having a c-section with her I got a slow start losing weight and didn't want to push myself too hard. I started my own program of counting calories again and a little incentive program. I lost 10 pounds. Upper end of healthy BMI again. I knew I wanted to lose at least the extra weight I kept on after Kaitlyn but didn't know if that would be possible now that I had a "c-section gut."

Finally last spring as soon as I stopped nursing and felt like I could diet again, I told my mom I wanted to start Weight Watchers after the move and wondered if she wanted to join with me. She was very enthusiastic about it. We joined in June, and I lost about 8 pounds in the first month. The weeks to follow were long and slow. I was finally 145 again and felt really good, but my goal was lower - I was curious if I could reach my goal so I kept going. After a little more time, I passed 145 and realized that with Weight Watchers I just might be able to to the IMPOSSIBLE!

I did reach the impossible. I could probably lose more if I put my mind to it, but for now I am happy with where I am at and need a little break. Shayne thinks instead of trying to lose weight, my focus should be on toning up (which I need badly) and maintain this weight. Weight Watchers says I can always lower my goal if I wanted to and keep going but I feel like that might be overkill right now. I am satisfied more than I could have ever been by eating food.

Since joining Weight Watchers, I have learned how to eat properly and the right proportions. I have learned that I CAN splurge once and while and get right back on the program and STILL lose weight. I never felt deprived and I could eat whatever I wanted BUT had to check and balance my points to still lose weight. I learned that not all calories are created equal and part of why I might have stopped losing weight was more to do with me not understanding this fact! When considering option of what to eat counting calories an apple could be 100, but so is that 100 calorie pack of cookies, or small bag of chips. However, FAT takes less energy to burn and therefore it's easier to gain weight whereas an apple (which is 0 Weight Watcher points) takes more ENERGY to burn so it almost cancels itself out. The bag of cookies is 3-4 WW points, while the apple is 0 WW points.

I highly recommend the program. It was so much easier than other diets of not eating carbs, much healthier and rewarding than taking diet pills, and much more realistic for me than anything surgical. I am really proud of myself and feel empowered at the things I can do. I know that this experience has been a good one for Danelle to watch over the years and I often hear her talking about healthy choices. The girls and I were physically active this summer with biking and walking more than any other year. I am hoping that by my experience and the way that I now feed my family, that my children will learn how to eat and carry it with them their whole life. I hope that through our walks and rides they will have a love for being physically fit.

This isn't the end of my journey.... I know that it will take a lot for me to maintain this weight and it will have to be a lifestyle change to stay. I don't think I will ever eat the way that I used to. Weight gain might be in my future with another pregnancy, surgeries, or whatever may be, but I know that with Weight Watchers there is hope.

I have to maintain my weight for 6 weeks to start going for free to Weight Watchers, then weigh in once a month to keep my membership. I plan to continue to go to meetings and keep my motivation high and stick in there with my mom who is doing very good but has more to go. I am excited for where I am. I am now wearing size six jeans and I feel better than ever.

"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway..." Earl Nightingale.

S'mores :(

August 29, 2011. Danelle had just finished school and I at the end of my second time with my new daycare child, Trevan. Shayne was anxious to go pick up a used car with Patrick, and I was watching Kaitlyn downstairs as I said goodbye to the guys. Danelle came running down the stairs with her guinea pig in her arms. I took the pig and she said, "MOM S'MORES IS HURT!!!" Just as I took her, Danelle went on the floor and said, "SHE FELL AND NOW IS WALKING LIKE THIS" and dragged her legs behind her. It was my WORST FEAR for this pig.

Unfortunately, I have seen this before. (Flashback.) I got Cocoa when I was only 11 or 12 years old. Our classroom guinea pig had babies and since no one wanted the one with "weird fur," my heart warmed and I took the little guy home. Cocoa was well loved and cared for for three years and even went through a move from Ohio to Utah with us. Then when I was 15 years old, my cousin came over for a visit and wanted to hold Cocoa. Cocoa was up on her shoulders when he started to gnaw on her hair. It wasn't meant to happen but Cocoa was accidentally dropped on his back, and from then on walked dragging his back feet until his back feet grew to heavy to pull. I tried to save him. A month later, he was deteriorating right before my eyes and it became evident that Cocoa was in trouble. At this young age, I told my parents I thought Cocoa should be put to sleep...

I have to admit I over reacted when I realized S'mores was hurt. I wanted so badly for Danelle to be wrong in this case, but after a quick evaluation I realized S'mores was badly hurt. It seemed familiar and extra heartbreaking to witness this again already knowing the odds were against this little pig. I ordered Trevan to go home (since his Dad just came home) and commenced yelling at Danelle to find out what happened. In a state of panic, and seeing me so upset, Danelle lied and said that Trevan had dropped our pet. I believed her because we had let Trevan hold the guinea pig before and he was scared of it. I continued yelling at her because she wasn't allowed to let friends hold the pig and telling her that she knew Trevan was nervous about the guinea pigs and shouldn't have let him hold the guinea pig!

I sobbed up in my room with Kaitlyn for quite a while. I was upset that I hadn't been up in Danelle's room watching them to prevent this from happening. I cried for the pet that was only four months old and would most likely die. I cried to think that I was trying to do a nice thing by babysitting and this child dropped the guinea pig. I cried about everything. The seven stages of grief were hitting fast, even with a guinea pig who hadn't even died yet. I felt the shock and denial, pain and guilt, and anger and bargaining most at this moment. I wished so badly I could go back 10 minutes and save this pig from a horrible fate.

For Danelle's sake, I decided to try to save her pet. I could see her going through much of the same trauma as I was and she was an emotional wreck after what happened. She and I both were crying all night. I put S'mores in a "hospital box" and set her in my room. That was a long painful night... for everyone but especially the pig. I could hear this sweet animal in her box "crying" and having labored breathing all night long. I took this as a good sign though - maybe her back was not broken after all like Cocoa's was... maybe she just broke a leg and could be saved! I resigned that night that S'mores had to be seen by a vet.

The next day, before my trip to the Pet Hospital however, I learned the truth about what happened to S'mores. Trevan told his mom and dad that Danelle was playing rough with the guinea pig and accidentally dropped her. He was too scared to hold the guinea pigs (just as I thought). I could feel the truth in his words, decided to ask Danelle about what REALLY happened, but seeing her pet going through this was punishment enough and to not make her feel worse.

I took S'mores to the vet shortly after. I brought her in and set her box on the table, my eyes filling with tears already. Once we were back in the exam room and were with the vet, we all took a look at the animal. The vet was feeling her back and legs and it was then that we confirmed that she IS feeling pain. I felt some hope! "Oh that's a good sign right!?" The vet told me, "it could be but there is some neurological damage to the spine. It could just be compression, and she might regain ability after the swelling goes down." The only way to confrim was to get x-rays which I did.

At this point the vet was honest with me, telling me that the outlook did not look good. They suggested in their own way that S'mores be laid to rest because the amount of care this guinea pig would need to survive alone would be a full time job - literally. Not to mention but S'mores was not eating or drinking (due to pain), and that alone would kill her. While I appreciated their honesty, I still had to get the x-rays done to know FOR SURE. If there was a chance that S'mores had a chance (broken leg, hip, or spinal compression) we could have saved her and she could have lived normally.... right? It was more for my peace of mind that I handed over $200 for the tests.

The x-rays did not look good... tears filled my eyes when I saw with my untrained eye a very distinct break in the middle of her spine. It was horrible. It was at this point the doctor told me again that they think we should put her to sleep. The pain she was in (with no medication available for such a small animal), her not eating drinking, and the amount of care required - I knew what had to be done. I sat there alone in the room with S'mores for the last moments of her life, stroking her and telling her how very sorry I am and I knew Danelle was. We loved her so much.

Not long after, peacefully asleep with sedation already, S'mores died on August 30, 2011. Born April 29, she was still a baby.

I planned to wait to tell Danelle what had happened. I wanted to find a time when Trevan was home and we could talk alone. I didn't expect Danelle to run straight up the stairs and into my room to check on the guinea pig though. The guinea pig was already buried in my mom's back yard at that point, and Elle wondered where S'mores was. This is when I told her, "Elle... S'mores died while you were at school." The news hit her FAST and painfully. She broke out in the saddest cry I had ever seen. I explained what happened in a way she could understand but I had to ask what happened. It was then that she told me the same story Trevan told me and she apologized to Trevan (and later his parents).

The seven stages of grief were prominent in my six year old at that point. The tears flowed for days. Danelle still cries if we talk about S'mores. She wishes almost every day that this didn't happen, and I do too. We often talk about S'mores and how sorry she is that she dropped her. I have explained that S'mores knows it was an accident and forgives her for what happened. It seems to help in waves. Danelle learned a lot from this experience and is being extra sweet, careful, and loving with the remaining guinea pig who needs her.

Right now I am helping us both go through the stage of grief of reconstruction and working through, and acceptance and hope. I don't think this will happen to Chocolate Chip, and have seen Danelle learn from this in ways that I underestimated from a six year old. RIP S'mores. We love you.

US Lately

Since I updated the girls, it seems only fitting to update my blog on what is going on with me and Shayne as well.

The biggest thing on my mind right now is, as always, SCHOOL. Luckily though, I am happy to finally say that all my math classes are out of the way and I did MUCH better than I expected in them. I have moved onto my core Elementary Education classes. It is actually REFRESHING to be writing papers again instead of calculating but now you know why I haven't blogged in so long (sick of writing!). My main cause of stress at the moment is getting my fingerprint clearance card done ($69 and can be done at my local police station) and taking taking the PRAXIS II exam so that I may move on in my classes after December 19. I am nervous for both. I bought a study guide for the exam, but haven't started the finger print process that can take up to four months to finish and I have a deadline to beat. Yikes!

Shayne's school is always on our mind too, but lucky for him, Shayne is finally in his LAST SEMESTER! We couldn't be more excited. I would be planning a huge graduation party if I knew when that would be EXACTLY. We are thinking April...

Another thing on my mind a lot lately is of course my weight loss. I have lost 18 pounds this summer, and only have two more pounds to lose to reach my goal. I feel better than ever and am fitting into pant and dress sizes I never thought I would wear again. I know it's going to have to be a lifestyle change for me to maintain this weight once I am a Weight Watchers lifetime member, but I am up for it. I feel more healthy and almost as proud of my weight loss as I am my children.

With school starting for Danelle, we were able to get in a much needed routine which we are all loving again. I think Kaitlyn appreciates Danelle being at school all day so that she can sleep in peace and have Mommy all to herself for a few hours. I enjoy the time I get to myself in the morning between Elle going to school and Kaitlyn waking up to exercise, clean, or get a nice head start on my day. During Kaitlyn's nap, I can do school which frees up my evenings for relaxation (like i am going right now).

Since I get to spend so much one on one time with Kaitlyn, I felt it only fair to schedule some one on one time with Danelle too. Now every Saturday, Shayne and I take turns taking Elle on dates. We love the time and memories we are making with her and its something special that she is now starting to look forward to weekly and we enjoy too.

Shayne and I also just started a weekly date of our own. I am kind of sad to admit that up until now, we took our dates as we could get them. It seemed we never had enough money to hire a babysitter, and with family working, being moved far away, or having their own dating life - dates for us just seldom happened. I should say, OFFICIAL dates. Shayne and I took unofficial dates all the time. Dates with children, one child while the other was at school, or planning something fun when the kids were in bed that we could do at home. We never complained, but it's nice to actually get OUT now. My mom has kept Friday afternoons free to watch the girls as we go to lunch and out to spend some much needed time together. We are SO GRATEFUL to her for her sacrifice and wiliness to take our girls regularly.

Shayne is sort of job hunting again too. He is still working at Occurrence but the we would like to find something that will bring in more money and be easier on gas since he has to drive an hour to get there everyday. Right now, we are paying $500 a month in gas for him to work there and drive our Explorer. By the time you figure what we are making, the job seems less appealing. He will keep this job until he finds something better and has had some great interviews, some as close as Provo. We are hoping for the best.

We had a really fun summer as a family. We had a lot of fun trips to Seven Peaks. Kaitlyn LOVED the water, but specifically the lazy river. She loved to lay back in her life vest and float on the water with me holding her. She could do this for hours if we let her. Danelle refused to go down very many slides and then her last trip to Seven Peaks, she went down some new ones... she is kicking herself for not trying them sooner because they were so fun. Maybe next year she will be more up for slides next year. By the way, the Pass of All Passes is an incredible deal... We got more than our money's worth with Trafalga and Seven Peaks alone this year and there is much more to offer. It was so much cheaper than watching all the "fun stuff" add up all summer long. We DEFINITELY plan to buy them for all of us next year too.

We had a mishap with one of our guinea pigs this summer too. I might have to write a blog about it. It was the hardest thing Danelle has ever had to experience. She is doing well now, but still regularly talks about "S'mores." Chocolate Chip is doing well though so we are taking excellent care of her.

I had a birthday... It's my last year in my twenties. Monyka is planning a big 30th birthday next year and as some family would say, "why have a birthday party every year?" So I decided to spend time with Shayne and my kids on my birthday and save the big party for 2012. Danelle and I went on a date to Yogurt Bliss and Shopko where she picked me out some sunglasses and a drink bottle for a present. Later on, Shayne and I went to The Mayan and skipped our movie and went window shopping instead. It was a very fun day. The next day, my Mom spoiled me with a scrumptious dinner and rice crispies.

Oh and I am learning how to sew! My mom is teaching me by helping me make Danelle's Halloween costume. I can't wait to see how it turns out!

Well, that's about all for now. We are looking forward to fall and our Halloween party which will be here before we know it! I hope I will be back to blog shortly.

Kaitlyn Lately

Kaitlyn. Sweet, baby Kaitlyn. She is so precious and brings a smile to everyone around her. I can't even go to the store without her smiling and waving at everyone she meets. Kaitlyn loves to give kisses and make people laugh. If she thinks she is getting a laugh out of something, it's typical Kaitlyn to see her doing the same "funny" thing over and over again and hope for the same results.

Lately, Kaitlyn has really began to use her words. She is actually one of the youngest babies I have ever heard say "Mama" at six just months old so I knew she would be somewhat of a talker. Kaitlyn mimics words often but her favorite words to use are "WOW!!!!" "Yeah" (said with a hearty nod), "Hi," and "Bye." She is starting to call people by name too - Elle, Grandma (Wamma), Evan (Ebann), but still has many more to perfect.

Kaitlyn is very accident prone. I hear from a lot of parents that all toddlers are accident prone, but Kaitlyn is EXTRA accident prone. Poor Kaitlyn can't even walk over a hula hoop without it whacking her right in the face. She knows right where to run and the precise timing to hit the refrigerator door just as I open it, and probably shouldn't walk over hoses for fear of tripping and hitting her head on pavement. One time I was letting the dog out and her leg got wrapped int he dog leash just in time for the dog to run out the door and give her a deep rope burn. It breaks my heart to have her having so many boo boos but she is one tough cookie. We just have to watch her a little more closely than we would have Danelle...

At 13 months, we took Kaitlyn in for her one year check up. She only weighed 17 pounds and this was cause for some concern. Although Kaitlyn is healthy, she needs to gain weight. I would hate to think that she would ever get sick or need surgery that might result in weight loss with weight she can't afford to be losing. Dr. Chipman even suggested we mix butter in peanut butter to fatten her up. I took this seriously, but not fearfully, and we explored foods that she would eat that might help put on some pounds. We found her loving mashed potatoes, almost any pastas, cheeses, hotdogs, pudding cups, macaroni and cheese, pizza, and chicken nuggets. She loves all fruit, carrots, and string beans. She has gained three pounds since then. She is filling out all over, and although she is still on the small side she is perfectly healthy.

We are also trying something new with Kaitlyn... for the past two months, I have been putting her in CLOTH diapers. I feel so old fashioned, but the money we are saving is totally worth it. She still sleeps in Pampers or Luvs, but wears her cloth diapers and vinyl panties all day. The process is not nearly as bad as people make it sound, and I feel proud of us doing this. Being earth conscious, I like the idea of not throwing six diapers or more away every day as well. I actually and honestly wish I started sooner.

Kaitlyn is growing every day. I wish I could keep both my girls small and innocent like this forever. We are doing our best to enjoy them while they are young and remember that these are the best days of our life, even if we don't always realize it.

Danelle Lately

Another school year has begun and already the first month is over. Shayne and I can't believe Danelle is actually a first grader now. Danelle is such a big and brave girl now that she takes the bus every day to and from school. I have to admit this new arrangement did cause some first day jitters for me wondering if she would get on and off the right bus, but my mind has settled and she is a professional bus rider now. I am so proud of her.

After some thought, Danelle let us know that she is "bored with dance" (her own words) and wanted to take something new this year. After talking to a lot of our family, the majority vote was for Danelle to try SOCCER. Danelle is pretty good at soccer and controls the ball easily. She is more of a defensive player than a runner taking the ball down the field, but she loves soccer, being on a team, and coach. It's too bad the games only lasted a month. We plan to sign her up again in the Spring, and hopefully find something to keep her busy and occupied until then. Here are our top ideas; art class, basketball, or trying out for a play (and if you know me you know what I hope she picks!).

Another first for our family; Danelle lost her first teeth! September 16th, Shayne and I were out on a date when I got the most excited phone call from my mom who was watching the girls. Danelle was so excited to tell me that she had lost her FIRST TOOTH! I was so happy for her. I know she had been worried about it hurting, but it came out while eating a peach and didn't hurt at all. Three days later, she lost her second tooth. The tooth fairy found our house both nights, and even found the tooth Danelle dropped on the floor just when we were about to put it under her pillow. It was a very happy time. She can't wait to lose more teeth.

Danelle is such a wonderful help to me and I love her so much. The other day, I was a little mad at her because she let me sleep in on a school day. This caused a lot of stress on me to hustle getting her ready for school and out the door, and I asked her "WHY didn't you wake me up!?" She said, "I was being nice and letting you sleep in..." I felt such guilt realizing how my behavior must have made her feel. Now we have a deal; if she lets me sleep in, she needs to get herself dressed, make her bed, and put her shoes on for me - - - and to my surprise she actually does it. Danelle and I butt heads a lot but we adore her and are so proud of everything she is learning, doing, and the beautiful person she is becoming.

24th of July Retreat

Our family LOVES the 24th of July because it's the only weekend of every year we KNOW we can count on a retreat from our everyday normal burdens or activities. This year, we left on Friday the 22nd, and spent three nights and 3 1/2 days in Hatch with our Burrows/Tubbs grandparents and family.

I have to admit that I worried if we would make it down this year. I was especially worried about Kaitlyn and how she would do in Hatch. My experiences having her sleep somewhere other than home were a "no go." I didn't know how I would handle her if she didn't sleep. I also worried about her getting into everything. To my surprise, she handled it better than I expected. Kaitlyn was so tired from visiting, playing, and being on the go all the time that she slept great. She got into things, but compared to Danelle at that age when she spent her first year in Hatch, Kaitlyn was easy. I have hope for our future trips to Hatch now. :)

I also wondered if I would make it because I had to make a very difficult decision about my 10 year high school class reunion. I had been looking forward to it all summer. I lost weight partly with this as my motivation. I arranged to go with a friend so that Shayne and the girls could go to Hatch, and I wouldn't be alone at the dinner. When my friend decided not to go, I tossed back and forth about going to the dinner, but ended up deciding that I needed to go to Hatch with my family instead.

Once on the trip, I knew I had made the right decision. Our family that was going to go down Friday night couldn't make it until Saturday all the sudden (so it was just us that night and next morning) and it meant a lot to Danelle that someone watch her big moment in the parade and the races. Since we were there in time for the morning children parade, Kaitlyn got to be in the parade for the very first time and I got to see Danelle win a race. Yes, I had made the right choice to be there for these special moments.

Later that day, more family showed up. It was nice to sit around and visit and Danelle and the girls played and enjoyed the day. Around 6:00 we met at the town hall for a dinner. It was at this time Danelle started to say she felt sick. I have had this experience with her enough to know that she probably didn't drink enough water in the day and her feeling sick and dizzy was dehydration kicking in. I tried to get through the dinner, but Danelle kept insisting she was going to throw up and we had to leave NOW. I have learned that when Danelle says she is sick - to not question it - we packed up our dinners and left as fast as we could. As soon as we got home and I gave Danelle a drink, KAITLYN started to throw up instead! In short, I am glad that we got them home before we had a big embarrassing mess, and before Danelle got to the throwing up part too. Danelle never did throw up; a couple drinks later and she was good as new. Needless to say we were more careful with the rest of the weekend!

Before coming to Hatch, Grandpa said he had a fun surprise for us when we got there. Not knowing what it was, we brought Monyka's fire pit not realizing that the surprise was a fire pit! Everyone agreed it was a fun addition to Hatch. It was fun to sit around the fire and roast smores and tell stories. We stayed up later than most with the fire when Kaitlyn was already in bed.

The next day was "ridin' day." We tried to figure out how we would take 12 people on rides, with only three (sometimes four) running ATV's. We decided that those that wanted the "easier" route would go in the morning with Grandpa through Procter Canyon. Then after a short lunch, the second batch would head up rocky Hatch Mountain. I had never seen Hatch Mountain before, so I went with the second batch. Mom, Dad, Danny, Uurtsaikh, Grandpa, and Danelle went on the first ride. Evan, Monyka, Shayne, Grandma, Grandpa, Danelle, and I went on the second ride. On our ride, we decided to get out the "Buzzer" even though it tends to have some issues. Twice it needed new plugs, but we had a great ride and everyone made it back safe and sound and enjoyed the fire pit, smores, and hot dogs again that night.

We had some fun visiting with Grandma and Grandpa Tubbs while in Hatch too. Kaitlyn sure took to Grandma when they explored the Hatch Town park, and made faces together during the games. Danelle and I enjoyed a hot dog lunch with them, and we had a few very fun visits at their trailer. Jolene brought out some tasty watermelon to share, and Kaitlyn kept me busy chasing her until we brought out some snacks she liked and would sit still for.

Leaving Hatch is usually a very sad time, but this year we caravan'ed behind Evan and Monyka making this another fun part of our trip. Danelle has some walkie talkie's and we gave them one for their car, and we had one in ours. We talked back and forth and had some good laughs along the way. We also had a couple memorable stops; Big Rock Candy Mountain, lunch at KFC, and our couple of fill ups on the way home. Even though it took a little longer to get back, we enjoyed every minute.

Once home, we start saying things like "if we go next year..." but we already know we will be down in Hatch 24th of July weekend like just every year. I am so glad that my children will have fond memories of Hatch and our time away from home together. I hope that we will have many more years together in Hatch.

A thank you to Sarah Cameron, my sister in law, for taking our dog while we were away. We couldn't go every year without her help. It means a lot.

4th of July 2011

I love the 4th of July. I love the food, I love the heat, I love the fireworks, and I love all the traditions we have with it. This year poor Shayne had to work, but we managed to have some fun. Saturday the 2nd, we had a few of Shayne's family over for a bbq. This was Shayne's first time using his new BBQ grill we all went in on for his birthday. It was a good time and nice to show our new place off to his family.

Evan and Monyka are the 4th of July people, just like we have been called the Halloween people. They planned such a wonderful party for our side of the family. We had it at our home (Mom's house banned fireworks and Evan's place was tricky for fireworks) so we were happy to help. Evan cooked some french fried onion pineapple burgers and served our plates to us restaurant style... then we played water balloon volleyball while roasting s'mores on their fire-pit.

When it got dark, we gathered in my messy garage (messy from the move) and watched Evan's amazing firework show. This was the first time in Utah for as long as I remember that most fireworks were legal. Normally you cannot buy fireworks legally that shoot more than 10-14 feet in the air. This year everything was fair game (which can be scary too). It was awesome though. Evan lit off some pretty amazing fireworks, many were show quality and shot HIGH in the air. He also had movie music playing the background to make it even more perfect. I loved it. It was an amazing night. :)

Biking

I forgot to mention some pretty great news that happened last month! Danelle can now ride a bike! I wanted her to have the experience of her Dad teaching her... well, all that time waiting for the right moment was almost for nothing because Danelle pretty much taught herself. Shayne took her out to the grass, walked around with her a little, and let her go. She was a natural. in no time at all she was riding around town showing off and begging the other kids to join her.

Kaitlyn is also a first time rider. I really wanted a bike trailer but settled with a little seat that rides on the back of my bike. It seems fairly safe and she wears a helmet whenever she is in it. I guess this is one way that Kaitlyn's low weight helps me - I never lose control with her behind me.

Now that we are all riding, we take rides five nights a week. Sometimes they are short, and other times (like tonight) we ride for 45 minutes or more. We have even ridden to Grandma LaTurner's house a time or two. I am loving (and needing) the exercise. It's great to take the kids along and do something we all enjoy that is healthy for them too.

Danelle's New Do

For a while there, Danelle was going through her Repunzel stage. She wanted hair that dragged behind her - or at the very least, down to her belly button. I bought her a special conditioner and tried to support her wanting her hair to be long which was a challenge most the time. Yesterday we gave in and cut it though and I am so glad we did!

Here is my status of the day: "Danelle's hair took THREE MINUTES to do this morning! Three minutes! - curled, cute, and ready to go. I really REALLY wish I had this girls hair. It's straight, full, no frizzes, and holds it's curl. If it was possible, that kid has the most perfect hair. Just sayin'."

It was so easy to do and the girl looks adorable. I love the length. Today I sprayed her with sunblock and didn't have to move around her hair first, or worry about her long hair laying in it and getting tangled. Last night, Danelle went swimming and it wasn't nearly as tangled as her longer hair would be. Not to mention but with her long hair, I would fix it up only to have her pull it out to fit on her bike helmet and then her hair would look weird the rest of the day. It had to be done.

Danelle was so excited. She actually wanted to go much shorter than we did. She wanted chin length hair with bangs. I let her cut it midway to her chin and shoulders, and NO BANGS. I still need to pull her hair up at times and bangs are just more upkeep; sorry kid. She is very happy though. I love catching her looking at herself in the mirror and telling me who she thinks she looks like. I am so happy we finally did it. She told me this morning she won't grow it long again for a long time (which I think is an excellent plan!).

Now if we could just get Kaitlyn's hair long enough for a real haircut...

On my mind....

Today the Casey Anthony trial ended. The verdict; not guilty. I have been watching this trial for years and it baffles me that she can walk away right now with so much against her. My heart goes out to poor Caylee who was too young to die. Caylee was only two years old when she was murdered.

Danelle and Caylee would have been close to the same age. It gave me chills that they seemed to look alike as well. I remember my mom calling me up and telling me to really watch Danelle and make sure that she wouldn't get confused for Caylee who hadn't been found yet. Caylee later was found in a wooded area by her home... nothing but skeletal remains were left.

I hugged Danelle and Kaitlyn tight today and thanked Heavenly Father they are safe and here with me in a home where they will never be hurt or taken for granted. I love my kids. I hope for Casey's sake that if she didn't murder her daughter that they find the killer on the loose and justice can be served at long last.

I'm GUNNA DO IT!

Me after losing my first 20 pounds in 2007, and me now, almost 40 pounds lighter.


I feel like I have come a LONG way since I started my weight loss journey in 2005. I had just given birth to Danelle... I gained sixty pounds during that pregnancy and unfortunately was not in great shape when we got pregnant with her either. I lost 40 pounds almost by the week after I left the hospital. I was hanging onto 20 pounds and was about sixty pounds heavier than healthy. Finally, I told myself this wasn't going to work and started counting calories. That year I lost my first 20 pounds. I felt good, but I had a long way to go.

After this we moved to Cedar Hills, again I lost 20 pounds. When we moved to Provo, I lost 10 more pounds. The summer of 2009 I was feeling my best. I told myself I still wanted to lose 10 - 20 pounds but then we got pregnant with Kaitlyn. I was in the best shape in years. Health wise it was a great pregnancy; blood pressure stayed in check, not as sore, and I didn't get as big... we did have problems with the placenta which caused problems later but THAT is another story.

I had high hopes when Kaitlyn was born that I would lose a lot of weight with nursing. I actually found this to be opposite. Kaitlyn was not gaining weight so I worried about what I ate, and if I could diet and lose weight and not have it effect her. I exercised regularly, but didn't watch what I ate. The last 20 pounds clung on. Now that Kaitlyn is 14 months I am not breastfeeding her it seemed like a great time to start a diet.

I remember asking mom if she wanted to start Weight Watchers with me. She did even more excited than I was. We decided to do it right after my move. Which we did. We have been on it for three weeks. I have lost 7.6 pounds and Mom has lost almost 10. I only have 12.4 pounds left to reach my goal and am convinced I can do it this time!

Of course, weight loss the right way never comes easy. This is not diet pills or something I shake on my food and I automatically will lose weight automatically. I am losing an inch at a time, a half pound a week average. It's going to take a while to get where I really want to be. Today at our meeting, the teacher wanted us to think of how we will look when we reach our goal. All I could think of is that I will be smiling. :) I look forward to this day. I want to reach my goal by my birthday. That would be the best present ever!

Munn's Move

I really don't like moving. I was hoping that our next move would be to a home that we would own... or even rent to own (hey, I'm not picky!). Just the thought that we will move again in a few years makes me cringe. Moves past didn't seem so bad. Adding the extra child (especially a one year old!)and having a rough time finding available or willing help, made this move a little tough, but not impossible and here we are in Spanish Fork now and loving it.

Our first night in this place was ghastly... Kaitlyn went to bed about as horribly as I expected but once she was asleep - she was good the rest of the night. Danelle surprised me. She got into something that had gone bad and spent her first 8-10 hours in our new place throwing it up. It was AWFUL! Shayne went to work, so there I was with Danelle sitting on the couch trying to sleep but having her throwing up. I couldn't find any medicine to help her either.

Our place was a mess too which was frustrating on all of us. Boxes, trash, everything was everywhere. Finding something as simple as a hairbrush seemed daunting. A lot of our boxes were out in the garage (so our carpets could dry) and I was getting discouraged that it would ever get done. Not to mention but our first couple days here was also my math final in school. I was so overwhelmed, I wanted to scream, cry, and run far far away. It was probably the longest couple of days EVER.

Our first Monday here though, things started to look up. I unpacked all day long until the main floor looked like a home we could live in. Later that night, I took my final. A huge load had been lifted. Shayne helped me off and on all week and together we got 95% of the house put away. All that is left is my bedroom closet and to hang pictures on the walls upstairs. I can't wait for the moment to say that it is all done.

We have come a long way in the past few days. We will still need to work on our storage unit in Salem, but are to tired to think about it right now. It's our next big project.

There is only one thing I would change about this place is I could. I have noticed the children have free reign over the neighborhood. I guess this could a good thing too (knowing it's safe) but it is really a uncomfortable feeling for me... There is no way anyone (not many anyway) would let their kids run around in Provo the way these parents do.

On a side note, Danelle is making friends at a fast pace. Her best friends here so far are both eight years old and if I hadn't told the parents she was only six, they would have assumed she was the same age and going into third grade also. Danelle is very excited about her new school in the fall and especially for riding the bus (we found out) and eating at the school. I hope she finds friends in our neighborhood in her class.

I have to throw a shout out to the people that did help with the Munn's move of 2011. Both Dads (Dad and Martin, my father in law) helped loan trucks. Evan and Monyka were the first to help take over boxes on Friday. Saturday we rallied help from Erik Heppler, his brother in law, Dad, our home teacher, another ward member (sorry I should know!), and Troy Morgan to help load the trucks and trailer. Oh, which I have to thank Jason Benson for the trailer and saving us a million trips. Mom and Monyka helped me clean the home out and ready for market, and Carolyn Heppler let me borrow her carpet cleaner.

I can't forget those that helped with my crazy kids during the move process too. Larissa and Beth (my visiting teachers), Carolyn Heppler, my mom, Evan and Monyka, and Kandice Morgan. This move would have been almost impossible having the kids around. I can't thank you enough! It meant so much to us to know our girls were in good hands.

Well, that's all for now! Have a great week!