Bringing Home Baby

You’ve just had your third baby.   Everything seems so wonderful when you’re in the hospital, and then  on the way home you feel the tears and emotions starting to set in.  For the first time in months, all the ‘build up’ from expecting your baby is over.  For me, it feels like leading up to Christmas; you have your wonderful present, but can’t help feeling sad it’s over. 

I just had our third baby two weeks and five days ago.  Coming home to my two older girls and now having the added responsibility of my wonderful newborn son seemed really OvErWhElMiNg!  Not to mention but after having a baby, experiencing blood loss, hormones stabilizing, recovery, and lack of sleep, you may even have moments where you don’t know how you are expected to manage your new life.  Tears come and go, and you might feel yourself losing control.  Here are some things I have learned over the past two weeks to help see me through this time of adjustment and roller coaster of emotions.

First of all, timing is everything.  Looking back, I wish we had our baby in the later spring or early summer because it’s still too cold to enjoy the outdoors, rainy, snowy, and cloudy much of the time.  However, getting pregnant on a schedule is sometimes easier said than done and I have to grateful Liam came in March and not January (I contend with January blues every year, let’s not add baby blues on top of that).   Here’s how I am coping;

• Know that the first 10 days of recovery can be hard, with the first 3-5 being the WORST. After 10 days of normal baby blues, you should start feeling dramatically better.  I have heard of baby blues described as up and down, but if you feel yourself going down and not going back up, you may be developing postpartum depression and should consider contacting your doctor for help.
•  One thing that would have helped me would have been planning the accommodations for my older children better during the hospital stay.  My attitude before the birth was that this was between my husband and our mothers.  Little did I know that the lack of planning would interfere with my time with my husband at the hospital and it seemed that our kids were struggling with not having proper planning.  If I had to do it over again, I would have asked each parent to take a day to help the kids the entire day, with Shayne only staying with them at night.
• Since baby blues lasts 10 days to two weeks, I think every new dad should try to get the first two weeks off of work to help their wife through the hardest part of the adjustment period.  Shayne had a week off of work, but ended up taking 10 days because I was simply not ready for him to go back to work so soon.
• Keep it simple!  You aren't going to get back into your usual routines the first day being home.  For this, I suggest taking meals and help when they are offered to you.  Remember that paper plates are your friend, and have simple breakfast and lunch ideas ready.  We bought some small boxes of cereals that our older kids loved, Hot Pockets and small bags of potato chips for lunch.  I was lucky enough to think ahead and have some freezer meals prepared beforehand. I only wish I made meals that my girls would eat more willingly.
• My doctor suggested walking in the sun to offset some of the hormones.  I like the idea of natural remedy’s to help with depression; fish oil, vitamin D/calcium supplements, exercise, laughing, Wild Orange oil or Balance from DoTerra, and talking to friends and family when I need them.   Every afternoon I watch a funny movie to give me a laugh and break up the day. I have always been sensitive to medications so a medicine free alternative is my way to go.
• Nursing is wonderful and demanding.  My son, Liam, nurses every two hours on demand.  My sister in law suggested I start watching a show to help me get through these late night nursing times.  I have been watching The Wonder Years on Netflix to help me through.  One episode is approximately 24 minutes long and about the exact time I need to finish feeding my baby.
• One thing we do to bring the family closer and wind down at the end of the night (and I really look forward to it too) is to have a family movie time.  Around 7:00 we are all ready for bed and we sit down together around the couch for a family friendly movie.  Each of us gets to take our pick of the movie of the night, and we eat popcorn and snacks while enjoying our new baby and time together.  I don’t know how long we will have this around.
•   I was lucky to have a gift card from my sister that I saved for something special from Christmas.  I am glad that I hung onto it because online shopping helped me a lot through those first days.  I look forward to the day it comes in the mail too so it’s like a bonus.  Getting anything in the mail those first few weeks are wonderful.  I looked forward to the occasional card or package from friends and family.
• While I am not doing everything that I used to, I am doing a lot.  I am trying to tell myself to be forgiving of the things that I am not doing or perhaps not doing right and focus on the things that I AM doing right.  Keeping the right attitude is important. 

• Make time for yourself; this is the hardest one and the one I still struggle with.  You need time for yourself, even if it is a small thing every day.  For me, it can be as simple as watching a movie while the kids play, going on a walk (even to the mailbox), having a short date out with someone, taking a longer than usual shower, letting Shayne watch the kids so I can lay down, or writing a blog (like this). Doing things for yourself will help you be a happier person.  Don’t let yourself feel guilty about it.

This seems a little like a no brainer and I get this advice a lot too but enjoy your baby while they are newborns because it only lasts for such a short while.  Take pictures, snuggle longer, and slow down.  I was joking with my cousin about losing sleep and planning ahead every night to make sure I get enough rest saying, “no more late night movies!”  To which my insightful cousin who has helped me so much during the past two weeks with her positive attitude said, “There’s plenty of time for that later!”  So true!!!  This simple sentence helps me keep everything into perspective.  There’s plenty of time for that later (whatever it may be)!  The time to enjoy your newborn is now.

Of course we are still having our good days and harder days, but all in all I am happy with the progress we are making towards being a functional and happy family of five.  Every day keeps getting better and I know before long we will be able to function without thinking about it so much.  I heard a quote once that something to the effect of, “these are the best days of our life and we don’t even know it yet,” and I believe it.  So while my life may be far from perfect, I love my life and the people in it.

I hope this blog helps someone get through those first days better than I did at first with my third child.  I am so lucky to be feeling better now with only a few set backs from time to time.  I can’t thank my friends and family enough for being there for me whenever I need them.  I am eternally thankful for Shayne who helps me daily and let me talk and cry whenever I needed him. I am thankful to my mom who came every night for the first week and a half just to pop in and see if anything needed to be done.  I am thankful for my cousin, Kristl, who sends me text messages every day encouraging me and keeping me focused and upbeat.  For my special friends and family who were aware of my hard time and still check in to see how we are doing.  I have felt so loved and I know that the reason I am doing so well today is thanks to the love all around me.

Welcome Baby Liam

10:00 March 28, 2013

I was anxious for my 41 week appointment.  I had tried almost anything safe to go into labor naturally on my own without any luck… For the past three doctor visits I was a “one and thick.”  At my 40 ½ week, I was finally a “two and thick,” and I had my membranes stripped.  All I hoped for from my 41 week visit was to be a four and thinned out because Dr. Crouch agreed to break my water and induce my labor if I were.

During my pregnancy, I was adamant to try for a v-bac, vaginal birth after cesarean.   I wanted a v-bac for several reasons but mostly because I didn’t want to slow down my life after having a baby.  I didn’t want the long painful recovery, and I wanted a better birthing experience like I had experienced with Ellie.  However, v-bac comes with its own strict set of rules.  First of all, you have to go into labor on your own.  Pitocin raises the risk of having a uterine tear by 15%, so many doctors and hospitals will not allow using it during v-bac.  I wasn’t going into labor though; at the time it seemed helpless but electing to have the c-section didn’t feel right.  I carried on two weeks past my c-section date hoping for the best but prepared for the worst.

Every day during the 39^th and 40^th full week was uncomfortable and long.  It seemed like all I could think of was “making this v-bac work.”  I walked two miles a day, ate strange food, endured painful acupressure, drank labor promoting tea, primrose oil, clary sage oil, skipping, and just about anything else that was deemed safe for naturally inducing labor.  Nothing was working, and it took everything in me and the help of my friends and family to stay positive.  The way I saw it, I was going to spend the next 18 years with this baby so why rush it?  Many people tried to help me cope with the idea of having a c-section, but I wasn’t going to give up without a fight. My best hope was to stay positive every day, keep praying, and keep up with the crazy labor inductions even if they weren’t working. 

It all came down to this 41 week appointment.   I knew Dr. Crouch wouldn’t advise I go much further.  “Well, you are almost a three but still thick.”   CRAP I thought.  I didn’t make it; looks like I having a c-section this weekend. Then Dr. Crouch pulled out his note pad and a pen and wrote out three options: 1. Monitor and Wait, 2. Balloon – break water.  3. C-section.  Dr. Crouch asked if I wanted to go home and think about it,  but I already knew that option one wasn’t an option, and neither was option three without trying option two.  “What would you do?” I asked Dr. Crouch.

  “Oh I would definitely try the balloon induction.” 

I answered back, “I think so too!  When would we do it?” 

“You would stay overnight and we would break your water in the morning.” 

“Let’s do it.”

I went home that day hopeful that the balloon would work and relieved that Dr. Crouch even had that option!  I have never heard of anyone being induced that way, so this seemed strange but worth it.  That day I painted my toes, took a long bath, shaved my legs, washed my hair and made it pretty for the next day.  Mom was to meet me at my house around 7:15, and I was to be checked into the hospital by 8:00 that night.  Shayne would meet me at the hospital and sleepover when the girls were in bed.

Kaitlyn was crying when we said our goodbyes for the hospital.  I started crying too.  I felt bad leaving Kaitlyn.  We had only been apart one night since she was born.  I knew it would be hard on her.  I also knew that when I came back home that our world would be completely different.  It was a very emotional moment.

I was really nervous checking into the hospital.  The first hard tackle of the day would be getting my i.v. put in.  With the girl’s births, this part was almost worse than the epidural.  I warned the nurse that I was worried about it and asked if she could put it anywhere else, other than my arm.  That’s when I learned that they can numb you first!  With the numbing, the i.v. went in almost too easy!  My first tackle of labor was complete!

Dr. Crouch met me at the hospital around 9:00.  He had the balloon folley ready, and I was anxious for the next step.  I only wished I went to the bathroom first.  If I had to describe how it felt to have the balloon folley put inside my uterus, it would be uncomfortable; like having a full bladder, and it’s getting fuller by the moment.  It was almost painful, but mostly extremely uncomfortable. Luckily, once the filling process was done, I was comfortable again.   In fact, I could walk around, use the restroom, and do everything normally until the folley had done its job and dilated me to a four. 

That night I tried to sleep despite a blood pressure cuff going off every 30 minutes, the baby’s heart rate monitor beeping, and blaring lights from the computers.

March 29, 2013

It must have been 4:00 a.m. when I woke up and asked Shayne if he could help me get comfortable in my bed.  It was at this time that I coughed and felt the balloon coming out.  I worried at first that I had done something wrong, but the balloon had done just what it was supposed to do!  The nurse let me know that I was a four, and that Dr. Crouch would be in the morning to break my water and let the real induction begin. 

Dr. Crouch called around 6:00 a.m. to let me know that he would be in soon for the induction.  Grateful for the warning, I put on my makeup and got myself all ready for the day. I was very happy that I decided to take a shower and do my hair the night before.  It’s the ONLY benefit of knowing the day you will have your baby… that  - - and arranging child care.

Breaking my water didn’t bother me as much as I expected.  I expected labor to start quickly, and I knew that I would need an epidural (since I was a v-bac) so rather than wait around for the pain, I opted to get my epidural and catheter put in right away.  By 8:45 a.m. I was pretty comfortable, watching Shayne eat his “Dad breakfast” and waiting for the labor to begin.

Once labor started, I started to feel sick.  I was feeling awful, probably from the epidural the nurses said.  Luckily, they could give me something to help with the nausea I was feeling.

10:04; Six centimeters.

11:38; Eight centimeters. It was around this time that I started having my first visitors arrive.  Dad had already been in the hospital for a half hour, and I texted Sarah, Mom, and Mom M to let them know that now would be a good time to come to the hospital.  Baby was close to coming.  I was not effacing as fast as I hoped however, so it was unpredictable how soon everything would happen.  By 12:30, everyone who would be there for the birth had arrived and we were just waiting for the big moment.

Around 1:30 p.m. Mom and Dad had left to grab some lunch while they still could.  The last time I was checked, I was still an eight with some effacing to go so we figured we had some time.  Being shy, I decided to take the opportunity with less people in the room to be checked one more time.  I remember being checked, the nurse turning to her computer and saying, “well smarty pants, you’re fully dilated.”  I immediately called my mom back to the hospital room and we got ready for pushing.

Everyone surrounded my bed and waited for the big moment.  The baby’s heart rate was dropping (sometimes as low as 60) and I was determined to get the baby out as fast as I could to avoid an emergency c-section.  Within three contractions in five minutes, our baby came into this world.  Dr. Crouch told me to “look down here Laura, look down!” and I noticed right away that our wish had come true!  We had a boy!!!  I couldn’t contain my tears and joy when I exclaimed, “it’s a BOY! It’s a BOY!!!”  Dr. Crouch put him on my belly and Shayne and I wiped him clean and cried.  As soon as our son was taken to the warmer, I held onto Shayne and cried the happiest tears ever. 

“Team Blue!! It's a BOY!!! LIAM MARTIN MUNN was born at 1:58 pm weighing 8 lbs 13 oz., 21 inches long!! and no c section :) Life is WONDERFUL!” – Facebook Status

For the next hour and a half we sat in the room with our son and our guests enjoying Liam.  I was beside myself that we finally had a boy.  To tell you the truth, I even wondered if it was possible after having two girls to even make a boy.  Seeing Shayne with his new son was touching too.  You could see the instant bond the two shared and the pride in Shayne’s eyes when we looked at his baby boy.  Our life really did feel more complete with a boy in it.  Life really was wonderful.

Liam has been such a wonderful baby.  He is easy going, a great sleeper, nurser, and fits in well with our family.  The noises of our family don’t seem to bother him, and he has adjusted to our life well.  I had a really rough first week full of emotions and the overwhelming feeling of having three children, but every day gets better and our life is starting to settle back into place again. It’s been a long two weeks since bringing him home (mostly because we are choosing to stay home for a majority of the first two months of Liam’s life), but we are happy and enjoying our new life.

I had so many prayers answered during my pregnancy with Liam.  First, keeping the pregnancy after we found out that I have low progesterone – after catching the problem a little late, it was uncertain if I would have another miscarriage.  Then I had the easiest pregnancy with no health complications.  I didn’t slow down much during the pregnancy which was a HUGE blessing for my family.  I came scary close to needing another c-section, but even that worked out for me.  The v-bac couldn’t have been a bigger success and I have Dr. Crouch to thank for that.  Then of course Liam being a boy and such a wonderful baby; I feel so blessed and forever thankful for a loving Heavenly Father watching over us. 

Welcome to the world little Liam!  We love you so much more than you know! Words can’t fully express our joy when you came into our lives.  It was a moment I will never forget.