Dance Fever

Ballet used to be my passion.  More than that, it was probably more like an obsession.  All I could think about was dance.  It was in my very core, and I remember actually and literally thinking the phrase, "Without ballet, what's the pointe?" ;) At one point, I was actually quite good.  I was dancing six days a week at two different studio's (BYU with the Youth Artist program and Academy of Ballet), spending every free minute I had doing what I loved best.  It was a compilation of things that led up to my eventual my quitting around 16 years old and I began to pursue my new life in all things 'theater.'

It seemed like a no-brainer that when I became a mother, I would hope that one of my kids would pursue dancing... not to get back what I lost, but to have something in their lives to be passionate about, to love, motivate, and challenge them to do things that require practice, determination, and commitment.  I tried a couple of failed attempts to get Danelle into dance when she was little, but finally she showed interest again and I jumped at the opportunity to sign her up.

Danelle is taking Ballet/Jazz, and Kaitlyn is taking a Ballet/Tap class.  Danelle loved her dance class so much, I went ahead and enrolled her in tumbling as well.  From the very first day, I wanted to buy 'Proud Dance Mom' bumper stickers and sweaters, but I have resisted so far.  Of course I hope Danelle will try out for 'the team' next year, but the main objective of course is to have fun and learn something new.  I know when it comes time for the girls to be in the Christmas show, I will be front and center probably tearing up with pride and joy.  I am so happy that we could do this for them. I can't wait to see what their future's hold.

Our Brave Little Girl

"She's very brave for her age," the doctor whispered to me as he pulled out Kaitlyn's stitches.  Thinking back upon her life, I couldn't agree more.  Earlier that week, Kaitlyn had the mishap of going down a slide during a field trip and ended up getting so tossed and turned around that she landed chin first at the bottom of the slide and split open the bottom part of her chin.  When I received the call from her preschool teacher, I was definitely not expecting them to tell me that she had a 'significant gash' and it more than likely would need stitches.  I took her word for it, and after picking up Kaitlyn from school that day, we went straight to the doctor without my even looking at it.

Once we finally were at the doctor's office, a nurse pulled off Kaitlyn's soggy band aid to reveal the horrible gash.  It was indeed 'significant.'   Kaitlyn was worried about seeing the doctor, but composed herself well.  When the doctor came in, he confirmed my worst fear at that moment; she would most certainly need stitches.  Without wasting any time, I called for some back up from Shayne and my sister in law Sarah, to help me with Liam and offer moral support.  We started some numbing cream every 10 minutes and braced ourselves for what I knew was going to be hard on my baby girl.  I would have given anything to trade places with her.

Kaitlyn's had a big history of having to be brave for doctors.  Starting with her coin incident in June 2012, esophagus stretchings,  multiple EGD's, and surgery again in November 2013, if there's something I have come to know about Kaitlyn it's that she IS amazingly brave for her age.  I once read a quote that relates to her well; "Courage is being scared to death... and saddling up anyway." - John Wayne.  Kaitlyn knows when it's time to saddle up and 'get it done.'  When the moment came to give her stitches, she laid down, took a deep breath, and held as still as a statue and let the doctor work.

I crouched closely by her head and tried to distract her from the pain and work the doctors were doing. I could see tears falling from the corner of her eyes, and hear her squeaky voice saying, "that hurt!" but letting them finish what had to be done anyway.  At one point near the end, she hollered out - yet holding still at the same time - and the doctor said, "oh, I think she felt that one."  It broke my heart. As a mother, the pain I was feeling being there with her and knowing I could do nothing more to soothe her or make it go away, was unbearable. My heart felt heavy.  We both couldn't wait to leave.

 I don't know many four year old's, or adults for that matter, who could have done what she did the way that she did it.  Kaitlyn is so tough and I am very proud to be her mother. One can only hope that stitches will be the worst of her earthly problems... but whatever comes her way, there is no doubt in my mind that Kaitlyn will be able to handle them.  Love you, Kaitlyn.  To the Moon and Back.