Life

There was a time that I had a wonderful plan for the way my life should go, and up until a point, my life seemed to follow the path I carefully prepared for myself and my family. Then starting January 2005, life started throwing curve balls. Curve balls financially, curve balls with Shayne's jobs,our homes, health, family moving, and my personal hardest curve ball to endure; our infertility. Even though I am a very positive person, I was starting to feel like we were lost in a dark tunnel, struggling to find a way out.

Three years later....

When Shayne started school in 2008, I started to see a SPECK of light at the end of that tunnel. I knew that the end of that tunnel was still far off, but it was nice to finally see somewhat a direction to go, and that one day we would be in the sunshine again. I was satisfied just in knowing that if we kept going, that we would one day make it out.

Then last summer, a miracle happened. Our old infertility doctor (the only one we've ever been able to afford) was re-opening his practice that December! Our speck of light was growing again! I KNEW that with his help we could get pregnant, and I was thrilled for this. We started our fertility vitamins just as he would have suggested.... LUCKY FOR US we didn't need more help than that. The vitamins helped enough that we were finally able to get pregnant. Yes, we were thrown another curve ball when I had pregnancy problems but just knowing that I COULD get pregnant was something to be said. Lucky again, Kaitlyn stayed with us!

Another curve ball came when Shayne's business closed its doors and he was laid off last November. But, it seemed to open other doors as he started using his time to make a website that we are extremely hopeful about.

This week alone has been such a happy one. Shayne has at least three interviews from Friday to next Wednesday and I'm sure one of them will be a hit. I can't wait for him to get back to work. Also I've always said that I wanted to move this summer before Ellie needs to be enrolled in Kindergarten. With Shayne getting a job again, we can start planning for this wonderful move (hopefully into a rent to own home in Spanish Fork or Salem area). Also we WILL be ready for Kaitlyn when she comes thanks to our upcoming tax returns, another happy thought. Oh and just last night, my mom called and told me that she is moving back to Utah possibly as early as April. I have missed having my parents around during these difficult times.

The light is getting brighter everyday. It won't be long before we'll be out of this tunnel and back to greener pastures. I feel it now more than I have in YEARS! I am celebrating this to myself. I can honestly say again that I am excited and hopeful for our future!

"...By small and simple things are great things brought to pass." Alma 37:6. I have since learned that while plans are great and a good thing for any family, you can't be surprised or disappointed if life takes you in a different direction. We all have our curve balls, and now I realize the truth in the saying, the only thing constant is change. I also realize that compared to other families, looking back, it doesn't seem like we've really had it that hard.

In closing, I know that I have SO MUCH to be grateful for. I'm so thankful for my sweet little family, Shayne, Kaitlyn, and Ellie, and that no matter what we have been through we've never done without - even in the hardest of times. I'm grateful for our our health, and that even during our worst times health wise that they were all correctable ones. I'm grateful to two great families, the Munn's and Burrows/LaTurner family, for always being there for us and supporting us and sometimes helping us along the way - some even from a distance. I'm thankful for the church and the hope and love I've always felt there. I am thankful for a Heavenly Father that I know loves and blesses me and my family and is always watching over us. Even during these past 5 very hard years, I still feel that I'm one of the lucky ones just to know the things I know and have the best family I could have asked for.I'm sure they'll still be curve balls in our future just as there are in any family, but I know that when they come, we can handle them together. :)