Memories of Grandpa Stan Gordon Oct 30, 1931 - Aug 13, 2009

As early as I can remember, Grandpa was always the “go to guy.” Grandpa could fix anything. I always thought this was a neat thing about him. He was the man that I would go to when I needed patches on my bike tires and even taught me how. I remember him helping with repairs on our house, cars, and he was also a huge help when my father was dying from brain cancer. He was a support to my mom, and role model for the kids. He was a gentle but firm man and we loved him so much for everything he did for us during that difficult time.

Some of my happiest childhood memories have my Grandpa in them. I loved camping as a kid with Grandpa and Grandma LaVerne Gordon. We would ride over to Mount Pleasant or Coalville and stay in their trailer with them a few times during the summer. It was the highlight of the season. We loved to swim, explore, and most of all – FISH. Grandpa was quite the fisherman. Even as early as four, Grandpa took me out on the boat with Sarah and I caught my first fish. He was very proud of us when we caught something. After a good catch, the next day I remember Grandpa frying the trout with a little lemon pepper for a wonderful meal.

I remember him liking the taste of burnt peanut butter cookies, and we would laugh when we burned some “just for Grandpa.” I was also proud as a kid telling all my friends he was once Lehi Fire Chief. I have to smile when I think of him driving his red Ford pickup truck. I found that truck to be very fitting of him to drive since he was once a fireman. It was like he was driving a real fire truck!

Grandpa was also the stand in father figure the two years between my Dad’s passing, and my Mom getting remarried. Grandpa was the person to baptize me a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints when I was eight years old because my Father was physically unable to at the time. He also took me to a Daddy Daughter Date when I was nine years old. I remember telling him that one of the activities was putting the dad’s (in my case, Grandpa) behind a sheet with only their foot sticking out and we would have to guess which foot belonged to who. I studied Grandpa’s feet before the contest to make sure I would know the foot, but Grandpa told me that he would cut a little chip out of his big toe and that’s how I would know for sure. I probably didn’t need the chip in the toenail to know his foot – but we got the right guess and I was very happy. I felt proud to have him as my date that day.

As I got older, and my Grandma LaVerne Gordon passed away, I started to see another side of my Grandpa. When he married Grandma Winona Gordon, she helped bring out a very spiritual side of him. I loved hearing his prayers especially. They were very heartfelt, and thoughtful. He specifically prayed for individuals who needed them, and took time to express his gratitude for the Lord and the things in his life he had been blessed with.

I also thought it was so great that he had the wonderful experience to serve four missions for the church. He and Grandma Noni were such great examples for the family as they faithfully served. I’ll never forget the day that he and my Grandma Noni were sealed in the temple with a room full of family. I had the experience to go with Grandma and Grandpa a few times to the temple and I always felt their spirit so strong when we were together. I looked forward to these moments with them, and wished that I could have gone more regularly with them.

Grandpa and I had some great visits when Grandma Noni was battling her own illness. During these difficult times, we had moments where we could be together in support of her. I remember him driving to the hospital daily to see her and be by her side. He picked me up a couple to times to tag along and visit. I enjoyed our lunches and the one on one moments we shared.

Even with all of his challenges during the end of his life on earth, I seldom heard Grandpa complain. I would ask, “How are you doing Grandpa?” To which he would always reply with a smile in his voice, “Pretty good for the shape I’m in.” I know he had his bad days, but he was very brave, and held a strong face even through the pain I know he was feeling. Grandpa and Grandma were very supportive of our family and I was always happy to see them when they would come to Halloween party or a little birthday party we were having.

I feel blessed to have been at the hospital before his passing. Grandma Noni was talking to him so lovingly, and trying to make him more comfortable. I remember rubbing his arms and neck while recalling memories with him. I saw some of his last smiles, and heard his last words. As I talked, I noticed his heart rate, breathing rate, blood pressure, and most things on his monitors improved. During my talking, Grandpa fell into a deep sleep, almost like I was telling a bedtime story. I like to think he fell asleep during a happy memory and his last moments awake were pleasant ones. I remember telling him in his ear “Grandpa, I love you,” and with tears in my eyes leaving the ICU only to find out only minutes later he passed away.

Grandpa – we love you so much. Thank you for everything you did for our family. You have always been a role model and inspiration to me. You will be missed!

Six Year Anniversary

August 7th, 2003.

10:00 pm. After a night of decorating for our reception, and a brief stop to Maverick to get some soda and a sandwich, I headed home to my nearly empty apartment to get ready for the following day. My wedding day. I took a bath, made sure my honeymoon suitcase was packed, my dress was laid out, hair things were packed away, and I attempted to sleep. I knew I would be content with only a few hours of rest. I wasn't nervous about marrying Shayne. I had no doubt that I was marrying the right person. I was more anxious about how I wanted things to go for my very big and special day.

FLASH BACK - two weeks BEFORE wedding.

"Laura, I'm so sorry to have to do this to you, but with the new changes in plans I'm afraid I will have to refund your deposit, and walk away from this wedding. " Famous last words of my wedding planner from Unforgettable Weddings of Utah. What he really should have said is "Laura, your wedding is not making me enough money, and it's not worth it to me even though we have been planning your wedding since February."

I was devastated. Very tearful, anxious, and upset. The thought of making all the arrangements with only two weeks notice was too much to bear. I was working full time for Payless Shoe Source, and had very little time for the HUGE task ahead. My invitations were out. The temple reservation was made many months in advance I felt I had no choice but to be strong and try to make my wedding everything I imagined it would be.

Luckily for me, Diamond Rentals took care of most of my wishes. Tables, table cloths, chairs, and most anything I needed were there and available for that Friday. My mother in law, sister in law, and myself stayed up late one night making center pieces for the tables. A co-worker's sister could do flowers, and all the rest was just icing on the cake. It wasn't easy, but everything came together, and for much cheaper than Unforgettable Weddings could have done. It made me wonder why I thought we needed seven months to plan for it when it all came together in two weeks.

August 8, 2003.

5:00 am. I woke up and grabbed the diet coke I bought the night before to help me wake up. After a quick shower, and grabbing my things I needed- I whispered to myself "this is it. Getting married today."

7:00 am. I met at my parent's house in Spanish Fork to get my hair done by my close friend and co-worker at Payless. It took us three hours to get my hair as curly as we wanted it.

10:00 am. I was starting to wonder what Shayne was doing, and how he was feeling about this big day. My family was awake and bustling, and I could feel the excitement in the air as we all rushed to do our last minute things. As fixed some decorations, I knew we should be leaving now if we were to make it to the temple on time. I was told by temple workers to arrive two hours before our wedding time at 1:00 p.m.

11:00 - Just leaving the house. I was getting nervous to arrive to the temple so late, but didn't decline the offer the stop at McDonald's on the way over to get the Quarter Pounder which I felt was craving and it being my special day I felt like it was deserved and enjoyed every bite.

12:15 - Finally, we were where we were supposed to be. As I walked in the temple doors, I could see to my left a waiting room full of familiar faces - family anxious for us to be married. I also saw Shayne up ahead. Man, he looked good! I didn't picture it being this way.... somehow I thought it was bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, but this being a temple wedding things were different. I looked at him differently right then realizing - "wow - I'm spending Eternity with this man." It was a happy thought though.

1:00 - "We don't have time to lace up your dress," the temple worker said. I guess having 160 other brides that day, and my being VERY late, was starting to hurt me. "Mom - please, will you help me lace up my dress! I can't go out like this, even if no one will see it." My mom was the biggest help to me that day. She laced as fast as she could, and my dress was finally perfect.

1:30 - This part was a blur. Everyone was rushing me so fast. I only remember walking up some stairs and seeing Grandpa Underwood and Shayne at the top and Grandpa brushed us by quickly about what was going to happen. Just as we were walking in, we realized in the rush, we had forgotten the part where I give Shayne my name through the veil and made another short stop to the veil to do so.

1:45 - SHOW TIME. "Do you want to be married to Shayne? YES. Do you want to be married to Laura. YES. Well, your married!" Just kidding - but sorta how my wedding felt to have happened. It was rushed like the rest of my morning - however still very special and the most sacred part of the day.

After a very very FAST wedding, barely having enough time to cry, Shayne and I kissed and became man and wife - sealed for time and all eternity. We hugged our family that was present, and even so soon after being married went our separate ways to get dressed into our more formal accessories and attire.

2:30 - As I walked down the hall of the temple I remember scanning the rooms looking for my new husband. I guess I imagined it was going to different - that we would be together in the temple a while, and to be apart so soon was weird to me. It felt much like nothing had changed.

The moment I saw him however I knew I was quite wrong. Things had changed. He was sitting on a chair waiting for his bride, and when he saw me he looked up and smiled. I looked at him in his tux and tails (which he looked so handsome in!), and had to keep telling myself in my head, "wow - I'm really married. I'm a married woman. This is my husband. I'm married..."

LATER

Before the wedding, I was so concerned about the reception and if it would go smoothly. However, now that I was married, none of that seemed as important anymore. It was all being taken care of. I did get a little upset when I realized that half way through our pictures I had forgotten to hand out flowers, but it didn't let it spoil my day. Even the rain sprinkles and the sudden need to move some of our tables didn't phase me. I met dozens of people, many that I hadn't met before and some that I hadn't seen in years. I felt the happiness of the moment.

The night went on. Finally our last guest left, and the feeling of "I guess we should go" set in. It was all over, and yet so much was about to begin. I took my suitcase, and after a hug to my Mom and Dad, my husband and I got in our very decorated car and drove away.

Even now, six years later and after all the things that we have experienced both good and bad, I am so happy when I remember that day. Happy with my choice in a husband, and I feel extreme happiness when I think of our future together. We have one beautiful daughter, we hope to have at least two more children, and with Shayne going to school we know we have so much to be grateful for and excited about. I feel blessed when I think of him, and our life together, and although it hasn't always been easy I love him so much and STILL want to spend Eternity with him.

Yesterday, as we walked on our temple grounds holding hands and talking about the memories of that day, I felt that same calm feeling I remember having six years ago. I looked at him again, and had to pinch myself at how lucky I know I am that we have each other, and we are a happy family.

Shayne, you are the love of my life - I love you today, tomorrow, always. Thank you for marrying me. Happy Anniversary!

Hatch.... The Center of the Universe.

Every year, our family has made is a fun tradition to head down south to a small city who's motto to travelers passing through might as well be "blink, and you'll miss it." Hatch, Utah, near Bryce Canyon and Panguitch is where my father's side of the family are from and every year we head down around the 24th of July for a family reunion and to enjoy the pleasure of our families company.

PIONEER DAY

This year was a memorable year for the Munn family. For the first time, Ellie got to participate in the Hatch local parade. Ellie looked like Miss Hatch USA riding on a ATV with her Great Grandpa Burrows that I decorated in red, white, and blue. Ellie was smiling and waving at all the people as she rode past. After the parade (which lasted about 2 minutes!), we went with Grandma Tubbs and played games at the town square, and later enjoyed a delicious town meal and amazing fireworks. I even found sparklers at a little store to make the night even more magical.

LOTS OF FINE FISHIN'


One thing we particularly looked forward to in Hatch was to enjoy all the "easy fishing" in their streams. Grandpa Tubbs made it sound so easy when he said, "we caught our limit in only a couple hours." One person went out once in the morning and caught their limit, and when out again later and caught their limit again. I knew it had to be true when a group of young children carried home a string of fish they had just caught that morning.

We set out early that morning, and Grandpa Burrows helped us pick the right spinners for the job. We found a place at a river, and started to cast out. Two of three times Grandpa B cast out, he caught a fish. Well.... he must be doing something different because we must have cast out 200 times each and didn't catch anything. Evan and Monyka caught small anchovy type fish being only about four inches long, which was the highlight of our fishing... Ellie even got to hold the fish up, and hold it for a while before they threw it back into the water. So, despite what they say, the fishing down in Hatch isn't as easy as it sounded. I hope next year to figure out what we did wrong!

ATV RIDIN'

One of the main attractions in Hatch is all the ATV riding we do. We love to ride up into the beautiful Proctor Canyon every year and really enjoy learning about the land and history of Hatch as told by Grandpa B. He seems to show us new routes every year, but we always hit the usual sights and stops along the way as well.

One of our stops, is to a group of very large ant hills. Grandpa likes to poke the ant hills with sticks because "they looked bored, and that'll keep 'em busy." We also ride past some very neat perfectly round stones made from sand. We call them Indian marbles. This year we went a little further on our trail than I remember in years past when we went a place you can hike and see an arch in the beautiful orange and red rock. It was a really breathtaking sight looking down at the land below us. Before heading home, we cool down at a fresh water spring, and shoot Grandpa's 22.

A few of us found horneytoads along the way, and Ellie loved the chance to hold them and pet their spikey backs. Uncle Brett even found a little frog. Ellie was hilarious to ride with too. Shayne said that the whole time she would say "WOO HOO!!!" as they rode fast along the trail.

FAMILY

Even with all these fun activities, the main reason we come to Hatch is to spend time with all the family that still gather there. My Grandma Tubbs grew up in the small town and some of our family, the Evans, still live there. Many of my relatives played big roles in the town history, and donated items to the local DUP museaum. Walking through the Museam makes me feel like I'm learning pieces of my family history. I even found a chair this year with my maiden name on it - the chair that belonged to my Great Grandmother Laura Burrows.

We also have a small family reunion while we are down there every year. This year they asked each family present to mention something that happened over the past year, and it was neat to learn about their lives on a more personal level. We have to laugh because the reunion is during the rain every year, but even still we have a great time just being together.

SEE YA NEXT TIME

Leaving Hatch is always bitter-sweet. Usually we are ready to leave but sad to go and excited for next year at the same time. The drive home is one usually filled with talk about our trip, and the fun that we had. Until next time, we have some awesome memeories and beautiful fun pictures to look at and enjoy. We love Hatch.

ALOHA!!!

"Do you want to hold my hand?" I asked Ellie as we felt the airplane start to increase in speed, getting ready to raise into the air.

"No, Mommy, I'm not scared AT ALL," Ellie said with a very excited tone in her voice and a huge smile beaming on her face as she took in everything out the window. We were finally going on our first trip to Hawaii! Even though we hadn't slept well the night before, we couldn't have been happier or more energetic that morning as we took off.

LEAVING ON A JET PLANE

Ellie is a natural born traveler. She was the best kid on the airplane. Always quiet, thoughtful, and polite with our fellow travelers, and easy to entertain. The plane rides were never a problem. Even with our busy lay overs and security checks, Ellie stayed close by me and followed instruction. I am so proud of her. Ellie did much better than I did when it came to keeping a cool head.

I have to laugh when I think of our trip TO Hawaii. I knew that we could each pack on a carry on and personal item, and that car seats and strollers didn't count as carry on's and were allowed to be brought on as extra. Well - I PACKED THEM ALL. Ellie had a carry on, a little bag full of entertainment things, a stroller, and car seat. I brought on my own carry on, and computer bag. We only had to actually check in ONE suitcase which of course saved us about $15 at the time. Ellie wore her safety harness (leash), and I pushed around all our belongings through the airports. It was like I was pushing a cart of all my belongs complete with a back pack on my back, almost like a snail carrying around his home all the while keeping track of my four year old child.

It was especially funny when Delta Airlines messed up our tickets, and we got moved into FIRST CLASS to make up for the mistake on our flight from California to Hawaii (the long flight). Here I was, this country bumpkin with my stroller full of things, a four year old basically on a leash, and a very full back pack on my back waltzing into first class. I pushed past the very well dressed and classy passengers, and sat myself down for relief. Gazing around, I felt a little out of place, but happy as ever to be in first class - a opportunity I never thought I would have.

First class was the best airplane trip we had. I had a steak dinner, and Ellie had penne pasta. The seats were so large, Ellie sprawled out and slept most the way, while I watched a movie with most of the comforts of home and better yet - attendants granting my every wish. It was heavenly. Our way back from Hawaii however, couldn't have been more of an opposite! Cramped in tiny seats, trying to sleep during a red eye overnight flight, and feeling depressed to be leaving such a beautiful place and family Hawaii. There was one good thing about the flight home though..... I didn't make the same mistake twice and carry on so many things. Remember, CHEAPER ISN'T ALWAYS BETTER.

WELL, WE'RE HERE!

"LAURA!" I could hear Dad yelling from across the airport near the baggage claim carousels. Ellie went running to Grandpa LaTurner with open arms ready to give him the biggest hug he'd ever had.

We were given real Lei's from Dad and found our baggage, and set off for Mom and Dad's condo in Hauula. I had seen pictures of their apartment building before, and recognized it the moment it came into view. I was very anxious to see everyone, but also very excited to jump in the ocean. Dad took us to the ocean first, wanting to surprise Mom who was inside the apartment. Ellie loved the ocean the moment she saw it! It didn't take much time for that kid to become completely wet with salt water.

Finally, Mom appeared and we had a happy reunion. Here at last! I knew it was going to be great trip. It felt like a dream to finally be in Hawaii.

THE BEACH


I have to say, most of our trip was spent on the beaches of Oahu. The one we went to the most of course, was the beach behind the apartment building. Ellie loved that beach, and it was so nice to have it close to the condo to shower off after. However, we also spent time at Turtle Bay, Hukilou, Sunset Beach, China Man's Hat Beach, and one we like to call ELLIE BAY.

ELLIE BAY is where we like to go to see the large sea turtles. They are protected there by volunteers who put red ropes around them and tell tourists they can not pass the rope or touch the turtles. Ellie loved the turtles so much. She was given the job once of holding the rope, and she took this task quite seriously.

Another reason Ellie loved Ellie Bay was because it's where her and Grandpa liked to get wet. One day we went to the bay while Mom was at work, and the waves were coming in pretty large. Ellie loved to get into the water like the local children with her clothes on and let the waves hit her. Dad knows the "series" of the waves, and we were watching Ellie together when he calmly walked over by her in the water. Just then, a larger wave came swooping over Ellie and he reached down and pulled her up by the arm (barely making a sound), and possibly saving her life. I am still amazed by this because it's like he KNEW that something was going to happen. He was definitely in the right place at the right time. We didn't scare Ellie about what had just happened. She learned after that experience to stay close to Grandpa when the waves came in, and this started a cute routine at the beaches with Grandpa after that.

PEARL HARBOR



One day of the trip, we decided to see Pearl Harbor. It was something that was definitely on my "to do list" when I went to Hawaii. Shayne's grandfather is a Pearl Harbor Survivor, and it is humbling to hear of his experiences that happened on this day.

Ellie seemed to be more quiet on the day we went to Pearl Harbor. I'm not sure if she was sensitive to the nature of the Memorial, but she seemed to have more moments where she wanted to think and sorta just look things over. We watched a video about what happened that day, and took a ferry out to the USS Arizona Memorial. It is almost hard to describe how you feel when you are looking down on the ruins of the once great ship. About 1,500 men were taken down with the ship and their remains still abide in the watery grave. It was hard to believe that this is where everything on Pearl Harbor took place, and to think that Grandpa Underwood could survive such an attack. Everything became more real to me and not just a part of US History.

PINEAPPLES!

Another big part of our trip were our visits to the DOLE PLANTATION. Who knew Pineapples could be so much fun!? We loved the Dole Plantation. It was free to get in, and very fun. They have a gift shop (which is so fun to go through), and a little restaurant section where you can buy the most delicious pineapple ice cream ever! Ellie's main attraction there were the large Koi fish in a little pond. She got to feed them a few times, and really enjoyed seeing them fight over ever scrap of food.

My favorite part of the Dole Plantation thought was seeing the most adorable pineapples I have ever seen. They had pink pineapple, purple pineapple, fat yellow pineapples, reddish pineapples, and they grew out of the ground like a spiky bush. They had signs posted where the different pineapples hail from, and it was just amazing to see how they grow. As you leave the plantation, you can see fields of pineapple plants covering rich reddish brown soil.



THERE'S ONE!!!!

Dad told us when we first set foot on the beach that hundreds of crabs walk out on the beach at night. We had been very excited waiting for our first chance to go out with our flashlights and see what he was talking about. I was pretty nervous about the crab hunting, but thought it would be fun to see Ellie finding the crabs.

Just as Dad said, hundreds of crabs crawled along the beach. They were fast, and we soon realized we had no need to worry about possibly stepping on a crab. They were small and looked the color of sand. All I remember hearing was "There's one!!! There's another one! Grandpa did you see that one!?" Ellie pointed them out, and Grandpa picked them up to put them into his pocket. We walked along the beach, and I noticed the further we got to the big black volcano rocks the larger the crabs were getting. Dad held up a crab that was about as big as hand. Ellie started to panic at how big is was, and we headed back towards the house. This didn't scare her from going out a few more nights though - we just made sure to NOT go so close to the rocks.

WAIKIKI!


On Fathers Day Evening, after a nice meal at Dad's sisters house (Dede), we went down to Waikiki for a night in the Queen Kapolani Hotel. It was fun to see all the hotels in the night, and to drive along the beach with the tiki lights all lit up and hundreds of people parading the sidewalks. We were very excited to walk along the beach and see everything there was to see.

After checking into our hotel room (which had a balcony Ellie just loved!) we set out for our walk along the "strip" of Waikiki. I couldn't wait to see the mannequins posing for money. Sure enough - the same mannequin that I saw on a video Mom and Dad had made years earlier was still on his corner posing for money. I wanted to badly to take a picture of them, but was warned they would come after me for money if I did, so I didn't dare.

There are all kinds of people doing different attractions for money. Some were singing, playing music, making woven hats from palm leaves, others "terminally ill," or laying on a bed of nails and having people from the audience step on him for a buck. Ellie loved seeing the parrots that were being posed on people's hands for pictures. It was truly amazing and fun, and the whole time I kept thinking how much I knew Shayne would have loved this and really wished he could have been there.

We quickly went through the International Marketplace, and then headed back for our stay at the hotel. The next morning, we got up early and went to the Waikiki Beach to swim. This was the best place for kids and adults if you don't like to fight the waves. They had a wall up, and the waves would hit the wall instead of you. It made the water safe for children and a pleasure to swim in. I saw many kinds of fish in this water. It was very fun.

THE FUN NEVER ENDS IN HAWAII



Even movies seemed more fun in Hawaii. While in Hawaii we enjoyed the movie UP, and NIGHT IN THE MUSEUM 2. We also enjoyed a few delicious plate dinners, and my sister Sarah spoiled us by cooking some VERY unforgettable meals. The Barbecued Pork Penne Pasta being one of the best meals, and the Bacon Cheeseburger Spaghetti.... well, the other extreme (good tasting but very unusual).

I had a couple of great visits with David as well when he came to join us for DVD rental movies, popcorn, and ice cream in Mom's apartment. David and I also ordered a pizza once, and sat by a beach for lunch. I also saw him a handful of times at his local job at the time 7-11.

Our trips to the mall were very fun - especially since the Kahuku Mall has both a play area for kids AND a Pet Store for Ellie. The Swap Meet was another favorite in my trip, and I was surprised how much I got for so little money! We also had the neat experience to see the Valley of the Temples, and a Buddhist Temple which was very beautiful.

Even the hot dogs at Costco seemed more fun in Hawaii.... I knew I was going to miss Hawaii so much.


ALOHA HAWAII :(

I knew saying goodbye was going to be the hardest part about my trip to Hawaii. We had spent two wonderful weeks there. Ellie was such a great kid the entire trip, and the time came and went too quickly. I was excited to see my Sweetie back at home, and start possibly planning another trip to Hawaii, but it didn't make things any easier.

It was a tearful goodbye. I held back tears when I said goodbye to Dad giving him the final hug in Hawaii for this trip. Later on in the car, I broke down and had to call him and tell him how much we'll miss him and Hawaii and thank him for everything he did for Ellie and I during our stay. Saying goodbye to Mom was painful too. I choked up the whole ride to the airport. She walked with us up to the security check in, and we both had streaming tears at parting. I kept looking back to see if she had walked off yet, or to see if she was still there - almost wishing for more time together - and she was standing looking at us with tears rolling down her checks just like I had.

HOME AGAIN, HOME AGAIN JIGGITY JIG!

Seeing Shayne waiting for us by the baggage claim was a happy moment. If I weren't so tired from our overnight flight, I think I would have went running up to him to give him a BIG hug and kiss. It was nice to be back with my husband, and it felt more real that I was back at home. I slept most of that day, and we tried to adjust back to Utah time the next week. We were very excited to pass out our souvieniers and tell about our trip. I have to admit, I got tearful for the first week missing my family, and sad that it was all over. Hopefully, we will be able to fly out again soon, and bring Shayne to experience everything Hawaii is. I can't wait for that day. Until then, we love the memories, and talk about it frequently. I love Oahu. I couldn't have asked for a better trip this summer.

My Heart Story... Part Two

Now moved up to the ICU of the Mountain View Hospital, I thought the worst of my nightmares was over. I was kept in the Intensive Care Unit to rule out the possibility that I might have just survived a heart attack. My blood was taken every two hours and tests were quickly run to see what strain my heart could have been under. I was told my heart needed a stress test, and a series of scans to look at the problem closer.

Now in the hospital two days constantly attached to the heart monitors, eating a heart healthy diet, and resting in a hospital bed the entire time I was told they would begin my tests. I was apprehensive of the tests. The first was a stress test. I was told they would make me walk on a treadmill until my heart rate got to 170 (because of my age being only 23) which was a fearful thought. I cried to the doctor (Dr. Green who was nearly in tears with me - very sweet sensitive man) and told him that I went through a lot to slow my heart in the ER and didn't want to undergo the test. I worried that once it was 170, it would not slow down again and I would have to experience the ER again. He assured me we would take it as slow as we had to. I was attached to several wires, and probes. Once my heart rate was up to 170 bpm's, they injected the drug Thallium and I would be done one minute later.

After the Thallium was injected, I was to lay under a large machine and they would watch me for a very long time to determine if I had a blocked artery. Luckily, I didn't have a plumbing problem. If the problem wasn't in the plumbing, it was electrical. I had a pacemaker called the AV Node that was not working properly, and the problem could only be fixed surgically. I was referred to Dr. Hwang at the Central Utah Clinic.

My appointment wasn't until June of 2006. I hadn't experienced the heart problem in a while because I was on beta blockers every day, and was eating a strict heart healthy low fat, low sodium diet. During this visit, Dr. Hwang gave me a quick EKG test, and listened to my heart, told me it's SVT, and asked if I wanted more children because I can't be pregnant on the beta blockers, and if I wanted more children he would recommend the surgery. That being said, I went forth with scheduling the AV Node Ablation Surgery for July 26, 2006.

In simple terms, if all went well during the surgery, they would put some electrical probes into my femoral artery and fish them up into different areas of my heart. With small electrical pulses, they would stimulate my heart to find the exact pacemaker (of which your heart has many) that is causing the problem. Once they find that pacemaker, they would ablate it - or deaden it. The other pacemakers would take over, and I would be "cured." If anything went wrong, I would possibly need a artificial pacemaker, or some other form of surgery.

My directions for the surgery were easy to understand. Stop the beta blocker Toporal a week before the surgery, and come with an empty stomach. The day before, I found out my surgery would be at 6 am. I arranged for my mother to watch Ellie that day. I remember taking a shower that morning and feeling my heart begin to race. I was nervous about the surgery, even though I knew I wouldn't have open heart surgery. I was scared that my heart would be racing as I went in for the surgery and that might ruin the process where they would have to slow my heart down again. Another consideration was that I would be conscious, alert, and awake during the surgery under what they call conscious sedation but I wouldn't remember later (I hoped).

I was put in a room and got dressed into a gown. Then, directed into the operating room where I laid myself down on a table. I remember the nurses telling me to tell them the things I would be feeling during the operation; tightness in my chest, heavy or labored breathing, pain, tingling, etc... I was tearful as they injected the medicine in my arm and prepped my groin area for the electrodes to be inserted into my Femoral Artery.

The next thing I remember was feeling like they were trying to roll me onto the floor, when really remembering more clearly they were moving me into my hospital bed. I was extremely out of it like I had just had anesthesia. I was moved to a special hospital room where I was closely monitored and was given extra care for my delicate surgery. As I woke up more, Dr. Hwang told me my AV Node Ablation was done perfectly. When he electrically stimulated my heart, he found the bad part right away when my heart began to race at 199 bpm. I had four electrodes in my heart. "No more racing heart," he said. I was to take Aspirin daily, and come back in a couple months for follow up.

Following the surgery, I was off my feet for about 3 days. I felt no pain, but I remember how very different the feeling of my new heart was. I was used to my heart being about 95 bpm regularly, so having it down almost to 45 and 50 bpm at times, was a new calming feeling. I remember wondering if my heart were beating, and I still have to sit in "awww" about the slowness of it.

My follow up appointment Sept 9, 2006 was a success when he told me that I could safely have another child at that point (which of course, has lead me into my new challenge to have another baby as almost 3 years later we still aren't pregnant). When I do feel the racing heart beat, it goes away quickly and without much assistance. I haven't felt any racing heart beat since late last year when it would last for about an hour off and on during the week. I can exercise without worry about my heart rate getting "stuck there" like it did before the surgery.

I'm much more careful of my heart now, and I have a strong desire to keep it strong and healthy. I know that if it ever returns (supposing another pregnancy might aggravate it again, or as my heart ages) that I can handle the process. I hope that this genetic trait isn't passed onto Ellie or possibly future children, but only time will tell as they will need a full grown adult heart to have symptoms. Now that I have been through it, I can know and recognize the signs and we can fix the problem early.

The procedure was a big success and I consider myself lucky to have found out what my problem was and not keep brushing it off as anxiety or a panic attack. I'm not sure what might have happened if I didn't have the surgery. Having racing heart for days may have been the death of me and I consider myself lucky that it wasn't during all those years of my suffering with it.

Take care of yourselves, and if you ever second guess that you might have a problem check it out because you never know how serious it may be or that it can be fixed. This heart story was a very big part of my life at the time, and something I will never forget. I am very blessed to have great and talented doctors, nurses, and staff who took care of me so well during a very frightening time of my life. My family and friends were always there for me to keep me positive, and reassure me that I would be okay. I am so grateful to have these people in my life. Thank you to everyone who helped me. Your the best!

My Heart Story... Part One.

There I was. Enjoying the high school graduation of my brother in law Patrick. Everything seemed normal one minute, then as I walked down the steps to take his picture, I felt my heart pumping wildly and throbbing in my neck. My heart beat was pounding one on top of the other. A familiar problem; one I had learned to live with since I was about 16 years old.

I sat down wondering if I could "stop the problem" before it continued to go on. However, if it was like other times, I knew that once it was in "fast mode" it could not be stopped. My only hope would be to sleep that night and pray it would go away.

As a teenager, my problem would usually be triggered during a stressful day at work or during a rehearsal for a play. It would last maybe a night, but usually went away by the next morning. I passed this off as some form of stress or anxiety and brushed it off as "nothing."

As I got older, it came pretty regularly off and on, but with no major changes - until I got pregnant. I can recall it being easier to be "set off." I would walk up the stairs, even slowly, and my heart got stuck in the fast paced mode. I was very fearful to what this was doing to my little baby inside my tummy. I worried that she would be affected by it, and then I realized I might have a problem.

I mentioned it to my Certified Nurse Midwife at a visit. My midwife simply passed it off as "something that happens with pregnancy," and it was "perfectly normal." I tried not to worry.

Pregnancy aggravated the problem, and it did not improve once Danelle was out. In fact, it had only gotten worse. Now a problem that had once only lasted until I slept, was starting to continue for days NONSTOP, and it was happening almost every month for two to three days average. Only had a new fear because it was lasting extra long, I worried that my heart would not be able to handle it , and end my life. I could not bear the thought of having an accident and possibly dying right there in front of my baby and not being a part of her life.

But this day, after the graduation, I couldn't shake it. It kept going on and on. I desperately tried to relax, sleep, and just take it easy in hopes it would calm down my heart. At night I would take sleeping pills hoping they would do the trick. Even with sleeping pills, I felt like I was running a marathon and I couldn't relax enough to sleep. I got two hours sleep average, only to wake up continuing the race.

Finally (Day 3), I called my Mom's nurse friend, Susan. I was desperate, and worried. I called her hoping she might be able to give me some answers. Maybe prescribe me something to make it better (maybe it was still anxiety or stress and a simple pill would help). She told me of a woman who came into their office with a problem that sounded the same, she was scared, and very upset. They sent her to the hospital for medication.

One more night I thought. Maybe all I needed was one more night. Maybe it would go away if I waited one more night. I remembering crying myself to sleep honestly wondering if I would wake up, and if I should have gone to the ER that night. I told myself that I HAD to go in the morning if the problem was happening. I had to SHOW a doctor what was going on while it was happening to be taken seriously.

The next morning there were no changes. I woke up after only a couple hours sleep, and knew I had to go into work before I went to the doctor. My appointment was at 3:00. I was off work at 1:00. A friend was babysitting Danelle, and I was curious to see what my blood pressure and pulse rate looked like so I could tell the doctors. I remember driving to Rite Aid, Smiths, and Walmart, all three blood pressure machines said "ERROR." I began to wonder if I was having a heart attack or something serious.

3:00, I sat in the doctors chair. The Nurse had already taken my pulse. "120," she said, but that she couldn't know because it was going too fast. Dr. Chipman came in, and he took my pulse."it's much faster than that," he said. He asked basic questions like how long I had this going on and how often. Finally he said, "Laura, I think you are having an arrhythmia problem, and you need to go to the hospital right now. Go straight over. I will meet you there."

Scared and crying profusely, I got in my car (which later Dr. Chipman said he would have rather had me ride in an ambulance) and drove across to the Mountain View Hospital. I was alone. I had never felt so alone. I didn't know who to call. I didn't know if I should call anyone. It might be nothing. They gave me an EKG, and I waited for a doctor to tell me what was wrong. Finally Shayne came to the hospital just in time for me to get the phone call from Dr. Chipman. "Laura, you have a problem called Supra Ventricular Tachycardia and you need to go to the ER of the hospital and they will give you medicine. I will see you soon."

All I heard was "Tachycardia" and assumed this meant cardic attack and I was worried sick that something serious was about to happen to me. As they wheeled me downstairs into my own private trauma room (not in a curtain area like I had been in years past), I could tell that this was an issue the hospital worker were taking very seriously. They wasted no time getting me undressed, and into a gown, and an IV in my arm. The monitor read 165 while resting.

My doctor came and along with the ER doctors and nursed, the ER door was closed, and they told me they were going to try a medicine first called ADENISINE. It must have been serious enough that they felt that had to have the room closed off, and I would be surrounded by people to help if something when wrong. The ER doctor told me that the medicine would feel unpleasant going in. Some described it as though someone were to sit right on their chest. However, if I had to describe it my heart slowed - possibly even stopped for about 6 seconds. My body felt weak, and felt difficutly breathing. My whole body felt dead and lifeless. It was a horrible feeling. It felt as though my body were completely still for 6 seconds, then my heart picked up it's usual pace. The idea was to stop the rythem in hopes it would start at a normal pace. I was in tears to find out they wanted to inject the medicine again. Again, 6 seconds, only this time I felt as though I could bear no more Adenisine.

I was laying flat, wondering what they were going to do next. I was emotional, and worried that i might need my heart electrically shocked to be put back into a normal pace. A doctor said to try a beta blocker, which they did through an IV. No improvement. After some time, they came in to give me a second dose. No improvement.

I remember telling the nurse I was scared to death for them to shock my heart to startle it to go into a normal rhythm. The nurse told me not to be afraid, I wouldn't feel it. I would be sedated, and it would help. Just hearing her tell me this, made me want to get off the table and run back home to my baby and pretend this wasn't happening.

Shayne and his mother were around me when all of the sudden it felt like my heart had stopped - my heart was still for a moment which was unsettling when I had it beating so fast. I immediately began to worry, and asked, "what happened? Am I ok???" A brief moment later the heart monitor now read, 95 bpm. I was out of the woods at this point - the hard part was over... or so I thought...... (to be continued.)

More Birthdays!

Today we had the fun opportunity to celebrate Shayne's birthday (and Ellie's belated birthday party). It was such a fun night. We had a Spongebob Squarepants theme, which seems appropriate since Shayne and Ellie love watching the popular TV show together. We had a good turn out of family, and enjoyed a meal of hotdogs, potato salad, chips, macaroni salad, and baked beans.

Thank you to everyone who came, and thank you to all the birthday wishes we recieved. It was special day for two very special people I love very much. They are my whole world, and I'm glad we got to celebrate their birthdays.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAYNE!!!!