Blue Christmas

"I'll have a blue Christmas without you

I'll be so blue just thinking about you

Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree

Won't be the same, dear, if you're not here with me

And when those blue snowflakes start falling

That's when those blue memories start calling

You'll be doin' all right with your Christmas of white

But I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas

You'll be doin' all right with your Christmas of white

But I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas."

The lyrics to this song and a couple others have new meaning for me.  Friday December 14,  during my lunch/shopping date with my Mom, we were sitting in a pizza restaurant when I noticed the corner TV blinking the words breaking news.  I looked up and read somewhat what it said but I wasn't fully brought up to speed until I started reading the many many Facebook posts praying for the families of those lost in the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting.  20 innocent young children, not one over the age of seven, were killed.  Six adults were also shot and killed, then the shooter killing himself making 27 people dead from this horrible tragedy. 

As a future teacher and mother of a seven year old, the news was hard to swallow.  We are taught in my classes that when we become teachers, we take on a certain in loco parentis - which trasnlates to "in place of parents" or the unofficial act of teachers stepping in as parent or guardian of their students when at school.  When parents send off their students at the beginning of the the day, they are also silently passing on the torch of trust and guardianship of their son and daughter onto the teacher.  As a parent and a future teacher, I take this role quite seriously. When a parent sends their child to school, they assume they are in a safe environment.... which is another reason the shooting on December 14, 2012 is considered even more devastating.  Not one of those parents sent their child to school that day, expecting them to be buried before Christmas. 

Through the events, I heard of one teacher that's brave act saved her classroom of students.  Her name is Victoria Soto.  She was 27 years old and a first grade teacher.  When the gunfire broke out, she hid her students in her classroom closets and cabinets.  When the shooter entered the room, she told him her students were in the gym just before being repeatedly shot to death.  Not one of her students was harmed. She is my hero.  I hope that one day when I am a teacher, I will have the courage to do the same if ever needed.  Victoria Soto is an example of the dedication teachers should have towards their students.  She displayed true in loco parentis. People like her make me proud to become a teacher. 

At times, I think about how I would feel... I see Danelle's stocking and presents ready to be put under the tree.  Then I realize that for some parents out there now, they are heartbreaking reminders that their child will not know the joy they planned for Christmas morning.  I have thought hard about the mornings when I send Danelle off to school; how would I feel if that were the last time seeing her on earth?  Does she know how much I love her every day that she leaves home?  I can't begin to imagine enough the depth of sorrow and anger that those parents must be feeling at this very moment.  

"Bells will be ringing this sad sad New Years

Oh what a Christmas to have the blues

My baby's gone..."

To the families and friends of all lost, teachers and staff of Sandy Hook Elementary, and many traumatized students of this shooting in Newtown, Connecticut...  "The death of a child is the single most traumatic event in medicine.  To lose a child is to lose a piece of yourself," Dr. Burton Grebin. I wish there was a way I could help you at this time or ease some of the pain you are feeling.  You are in the thoughts and prayers of many, including me and my family.  May you find comfort and peace during this difficult time.