Faith over Fear

 

The other day, I was looking up quotes about faith on Pinterest.  I had a friend who was struggling with a problem, and thought I would share it with her.  Realizing it was a good quote for many, I posted it on Facebook hoping it would uplift, motivate, or help someone else as well.  The quote said, "God doesn't give us what we can handle, He helps us handle what we are given."  I liked it because unlike other similar quotes such as, "God does not give you more than you can handle," this quote suggested that what happens in our lives does not have to do with how 'strong' we are as much as 'that's life.' Truthfully, no one has enough strength to 'handle' everything we face in life.  We will experience struggles, pain, hurt, and confusion. We need His help to handle them. Through Him we can be made strong. 

Later that day this quote took on a more personal meaning.  It seemed like fate had brought to to it, because yesterday afternoon, Shayne was laid off from his job.  Having been there before, the thought of being tested like this again seemed unfair. I went through many emotions when Shayne gave me the news.  Old feelings festered as I thought about starting the process of collecting unemployment, barely making ends meet, and trying to find Shayne a new job.  We did it once, could we do it again?

Other feelings are coming to the surface too as I wonder if a move might be in our future.  Not just a move down the street, but a move out of STATE.  Shayne graduated June 2012, nearly two years ago.  Since then, he's applied for healthcare jobs up and down Utah without even a nibble.  However, healthcare and the job market are booming in Texas so we have to ask ourselves if perhaps we should take that tremendous leap of faith and look for work there.  I keep telling myself it might only be for a couple of years and once he has experience in the healthcare field he can work almost anywhere.  He just needs to get that experience.  A couple to three years in Texas would fly by, and we'd be well on our way to better life.  I suppose I could try to be happy in another state.

I'd miss the mountains.  I'd feel awful missing births of nieces or nephews if we left.  I'd miss having my most of my in laws and friends within ten minutes each direction, and other family and friends within a few hours distance. I'd miss holiday gatherings and fun summer play dates among all our children.  I'd miss this house and the life we had here in Spanish Fork, a city who is near and dear to my heart. Most of all, I would miss my best friend and Mom. I'd miss calling her up on a whim and going to grab an ice cream or to get some milk at the store.  I'd miss having her a minute from my house, ready for anything.  I'd miss all the random pop-in's we do during the week. The thought of leaving her makes my heart literally ache inside. 

I've been thinking about how life in Texas would be.  Despite all the things I'd miss, we'd not be going out there to be alone.  I have family out there, excited and happy about the thought of us relocating.  My sister Sarah, and her wife Alison, live in Round Rock.   Evan and his fiance Molly live in Austin.  David is also in Austin area, and my cousin, Kristl, who I am close to in Fredericksburg.   It's not like we'd be living somewhere in exile, lonely and depressed.  I am sure that I would also find comfort in being around those who share my religious beliefs and could make close friends within a new ward setting.  Going to church meetings and activities would not be taken for granted.  Perhaps Texas might even strengthen our testimonies of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Shayne continues to apply for jobs in Utah, and Texas.  Only time will tell.

If there's one thing I have had to learn in my life, it's to trust God's plan for us.  Have faith, even if that's all we have left to go on.  I don't know why Shayne was laid off at this time, but I know Heavenly Father is mindful of us and he WILL help us handle what we've been given.  Say a little prayer for us... we're going to need it.